IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that the articular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important main environmental problem of our time is the loss of p environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from nowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #articular #species #plants #animals #time #loss #p #nowledge
While
 it is true that environmental
problems
 are seriously affecting our lives, there has been a consensus among the public that currently the greatest environmental problem of humanity is the extinction of a number of
species
 of plants or animals.
In contrast
, another group of people uphold the idea that
this
 is not simply true and we encounter bigger
problems
.
This
 essay will consider both groups' reasons and will provide my personal point of view. The environmental
problems
 were always our most emergent issues of all time. Plant and
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 ecosystems' are one of the most important assets of our planet Earth and without it, our life is in danger. Take the Indian Lion
for example
, when
this
 specific
species
 extinct the whole ecosystem of India was in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 emergency situation. Simply because there was no lion to hunt fox and Wolf.
Consequently
, the number of foxes and wolves surged and several other
species
 like rabbits and snakes were pushed to the edge of extinction until Indians imported a number of lions into their woodlands and balanced the ecosystem.
On the other hand
, what I believe is that with global warming and food shortage and high rates of increasing population, we as humans are at the edge of extinction and we should urge ourselves to solve these
problems
 first and
then
 we think about animals and plants. Take mammoths
for example
, they are extinct
due to
 their inability to adapt to new circumstances. Despite all the plant and animal extinctions, we should survive
first,
then
 think about other
species
, and as long as there are some
problems
 like global warming, food shortages and high rates of increasing population we should not do much about others.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
The essay presents an introduction and conclusion, but they lack clarity and engagement. Consider using more impactful statements and a clear stance in the conclusion.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat discernible, but it would benefit from clearer paragraphing and the use of cohesive devices to better articulate the relationship between ideas.
supported main points
Main points are supported, but the supporting details and examples are not fully developed. Use more detailed explanations to enhance your arguments.
complete response
Your response addresses the topic, but it needs to cover all aspects of the task more effectively. Ensure that you discuss both views and your own opinion equally.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are evident, yet they could be expressed more comprehensively. Develop your ideas further with more complex reasoning and varied sentence structures.
relevant specific examples
Examples provided are relevant, but they could be more specific and detailed to strengthen the arguments. Aim for examples that vividly support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!