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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar charts below give information on road transport in a number of European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts below give information on road transport in a number of European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The data provides information on road
transportation
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 by various means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 in six European
countries
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as well as
Linking Words
 shows the average in
European
Correct article usage
the European
show examples
 Union.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident, that in most of the
Use synonyms
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 the numbers are higher than the average for
Use synonyms
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
. Noticeably, only two
countries
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, Germany and Spain, have driven by car below the
EU
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 average, precisely speaking, less than approximately 2 thousand
kilometres
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 compared to the
EU
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 one. In terms of car
transportation
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, the most
usage
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 is seen in the figure of Denmark, which reaches more than
12 000
Correct your spelling
12,000
kilometres
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 per year. Surprisingly, the
usage
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 of
such
Linking Words
transportation
Use synonyms
 methods like bus, train and bike was more than double the amount of average in
Use synonyms
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
 in Denmark reaching 3000
kilometres
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.
However
Linking Words
,
in addition
Linking Words
, only in Italy the
usage
Use synonyms
 of those were higher than the average. When it comes to Spain, France, Germany and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom, those varied between 900 and 1200
kilometres
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. In general, the commute time was highest in the United Kingdom
for
Change preposition
at
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 almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
45
minute
Fix the agreement mistake
minutes
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,
Linking Words
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Germany.
Countries
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 like Denmark, France and Spain were slightly above the average, which was around 30 minutes. The only country that stayed below was Italy with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
20 minute
Add a hyphen
20-minute
show examples
 commuting time.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation, usage, countries, eu, kilometres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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