Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themthelves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What is your opinion? Use specific rsasons to support your answer.

These days, there are a
surprisingly
Change the word
surprising
show examples
amount of inhabitants who think that to be
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
owner of a gun
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
safiter
Correct your spelling
safer
than to
don't
Verb problem
not
show examples
have any. In my humble opinion a world without arms it’s a way long a better place and
also
out of danger.
Therefore
, in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I am going to discuss why I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely
disagreeing
Wrong verb form
disagree
show examples
with
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
pro-guns’
Change noun form
pro-guns
show examples
statement
Fix the agreement mistake
statements
show examples
.
Firstly
, if governments don’t allow the property of handguns it is going to turn complicated to access one which is going to give security to the entire population.
For example
, in the United States of
America
Add a comma
America,
show examples
it is legal the
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
weapons,
this
right opens
this
market to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of people with a variety of intentions.
As a result
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
is going to
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
delinquency.
Moreover
,
this
is going to have repercussions
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the quality of life
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Secondly
, the facilities to get
handgun
Add an article
a handgun
show examples
in some countries, especially in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, has led to armed attacks in schools, which is nuts. As a foreseeing
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, schools need an attack protocol, just as teachers have to be specially prepared to know how to act in case of assault.
Furthermore
, the mental health of children, parents,
teachers
Correct word choice
and teachers
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
stressful in a way that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not necessary for me. In conclusion,
allowed
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
the sale of weapons
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
horrible
Add an article
a horrible
show examples
impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
quality of life in communities.
However
, I understand that in these countries people buy weapons to stay
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, the solution it’s that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
banned
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
sale of
handgun
Fix the agreement mistake
handguns
show examples
.
Submitted by bertavicedovillarraso on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the topic. However, there is a need for more comprehensive development of ideas and relevant examples to support the opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is weak. There is a lack of clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the essay does not progress logically from one idea to the next, which affects the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Second Amendment
  • right to bear arms
  • self-protection
  • concealed carry
  • civil rights
  • gun control legislation
  • public safety
  • firearm regulations
  • background checks
  • concealed handgun permits
  • stand-your-ground laws
  • accidental discharge
  • gun violence
  • crime deterrence
  • escalation of conflict
  • law enforcement challenges
  • responsible ownership
  • community safety initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!