Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themthelves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What is your opinion? Use specific rsasons to support your answer.
These days, there are a
surprisingly
amount of inhabitants who think that to be Change the word
surprising
an
owner of a gun Correct article usage
the
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
safiter
than to Correct your spelling
safer
don't
have any. In my humble opinion a world without arms it’s a way long a better place and Verb problem
not
also
out of danger. Therefore
, in this
essay
I am going to discuss why I Add a comma
essay,
am
completely Verb problem
apply
disagreeing
with Wrong verb form
disagree
people
Change noun form
people's
pro-guns’
Change noun form
pro-guns
statement
.
Fix the agreement mistake
statements
Firstly
, if governments don’t allow the property of handguns it is going to turn complicated to access one which is going to give security to the entire population. For example
, in the United States of America
it is legal the Add a comma
America,
sale
Replace the word
sell
of
weapons, Change preposition
apply
this
right opens this
market to a
different Correct article usage
apply
kind
of people with a variety of intentions. Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
As a result
, it
is going to Correct pronoun usage
there
have
an increase Verb problem
be
of
delinquency. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, this
is going to have repercussions in
the quality of life Change preposition
on
of
Change preposition
in
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, the facilities to get handgun
in some countries, especially in Add an article
a handgun
USA
, has led to armed attacks in schools, which is nuts. As a foreseeing Correct article usage
the USA
results
, schools need an attack protocol, just as teachers have to be specially prepared to know how to act in case of assault. Correct the article-noun agreement
result
Furthermore
, the mental health of children, parents, teachers
Correct word choice
and teachers
are
stressful in a way that Correct subject-verb agreement
is
it
is not necessary for me.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
apply
allowed
the sale of weapons Wrong verb form
allowing
it
has Correct pronoun usage
apply
horrible
impact Add an article
a horrible
in
Change preposition
on
the
mental health, Correct article usage
apply
the
quality of life in communities. Correct word choice
and the
However
, I understand that in these countries people buy weapons to stay safety
. Replace the word
safe
Nevertheless
, the solution it’s that government
banned Correct article usage
the government
this
sale of Correct determiner usage
the
handgun
.Fix the agreement mistake
handguns
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the topic. However, there is a need for more comprehensive development of ideas and relevant examples to support the opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is weak. There is a lack of clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the essay does not progress logically from one idea to the next, which affects the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
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