In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
In the past our grandparents used to pay for their necessities with cash,
however
, in the future, it’s highly likely that men and women only need to use their bank cards or mobile phones to execute any payment. I personally believe that cashless transactions will become our habit sooner or later. This
could be because of improvements in our technology
. Even though some folks might be reluctant to adopt this
movement due to
security reasons.
Nowadays our society is offered by the improvement in technology
to either make our financial decisions cashless or through physical money
. In a way that everything needs to be fast, advanced technology
such
as big data and cloud storage will help to keep our finance transactions safe and faster than before. One day we will be able to pay for our groceries only within 2 minutes, which is faster than using paper-based money
. Since we don’t need to calculate the exact amount of money
and wait for the seller to give back our changes. In Indonesia, research found that in 2023 almost 40% of people aged 24-35 prefer to pay for their lunch through debit card and mobile banking.
However
, some of us might be reluctant to give up the cash because of high crime rates related to applying online payment. Folk could find that executing a financial transaction using actual money
will provide a sense of security,
since the actual exchanging of Remove the comma
apply
money
happens in front of their eyes. Making no mistake apply
cybercrime with online payment is skyrocketing. Unless these crimes are solved, some people will keep using coins and paper Verb problem
apply
money
to do the
financial transactions.
In conclusion, there is a high possibility that cashless payments will become a trend in the future. Support from advanced Correct article usage
apply
technology
will make this
transition smoother, nevertheless
, some of us might still be reluctant due to
a sense of security.Submitted by permata_188 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay should be more logically structured. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that you use appropriate linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further by providing more specific examples and details. This can help to make your argument more compelling and comprehensive.
task achievement
It is important to maintain a consistent tone throughout the essay. Check for varying degrees of formality and make sure your language remains appropriate for an academic essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it, making it easy for the reader to understand the main argument.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, especially the research about people in Indonesia, which adds credibility to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes effectively by summarizing the main points and restating your position. This helps to reinforce your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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