Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?
In the modern age, many
people
do not know who lives next to them in the largest cities because people
work
very bury and this
essay will give the solution that spending more time
on their life
.
There are many problems that people
argue that people
are work
-hard to work
every day. Many families have many activities that they work
and do such
as housework or work
to raise money. People
's life
is an example, people
get up early to prepare for their work
and their family like making breakfast or riding their children to school and after work
, they will go home and spend more time
with family. So it is difficult for many people
to meet their neighbours
. They work
at different times and coming across to meet neighbourhoods outside the house to say "hello" is difficult. If many families had time
, they would gather their neighbours
in the residence area.
However
, a solution can be found in people
's lives when they can arrange their times. They need to spend more time
on
their Change preposition
in
life
and have time
to relax or gather with their neighbours
to reduce stress in their work
. People
will be helped by their neighbours
when they have difficult problems in their house. For instance
, people
hang out for their work
and the neighbours
can protect their houses when there are
a problem Change the verb form
is
such
as household fires or robbers stealing. As a result
, people
need to prepare suitable times to work
and their lives. Many families should spend more time
with their neighbours
to have more relatives.
In conclusion, many people
need to communicate with their neighbours
to make a better life
.Today, many people
do not know their neighbours
in large cities. What problems does this
cause? What can be done about this
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and the sentences are disjointed, which affects the logical structure. To improve, create a clear outline before writing, using paragraphs effectively to separate different thoughts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly present the topic and summarise the main arguments. The introduction is too vague, and the conclusion just restates the prompt without offering a summary of main ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
You must expand on the main points by using clear and relevant examples, offering explanations, and fully developing the ideas. Currently, the examples provided are too general and don't effectively support the arguments.
Task Achievement
The response to the task needs to be more fully extended and developed. The essay does not adequately address the specific problems caused by not knowing one's neighbours, nor does it provide concrete solutions. More detailed analysis and a wider range of vocabulary could significantly improve this aspect.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented are not fully elaborated and appear simplistic. To improve, offer more comprehensive ideas by delving deeper into the issues and potential solutions. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be fully explored before moving to the next.
Task Achievement
Specific examples are essential in supporting your points and demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic. Your essay lacks this specificity. For better task achievement, incorporate precise examples that strongly tie back to the points being made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
