IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph above describes the total
number
Use synonyms
 of minutes of
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone
Replace the word
calls
show examples
calling
Replace the word
calls
show examples
 in the UK. The data
presented
Add a missing verb
was presented
show examples
 in billions and divided into three categories from 1995-2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, local calls dominated the area in all years. In 1995, people in the UK tended to use phones for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
, at 70 million a year, the
number
Use synonyms
 has increased and reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak in 1999 at 90
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 decreased by around 20 million in 2002. Over the years, national and international telephone calls have become popular. The
number
Use synonyms
 rose
Change preposition
by more
show examples
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than 20 million from 1995 over the next 7 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 1995 the use of mobile phones was less popular than the other categories, the
number
Use synonyms
 stated below 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Surprisingly, the sudden increase happened until 2002.
However
Linking Words
, the use of mobile phones is still the lowest category all the time.
Submitted by ambercampbell.xx25 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
What to do next:
Look at other essays: