The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home or work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the crowded megacities and
traffic
congestion in them have become a big problem for citizens to deal with. Some experts believe that, if fewer individuals utilize
transport
vehicles for their daily routine
traffic
would be less in their cities. In
this
essay,
although
there are a few problems with the approach, I will explain why I agree with the solution. The human population is growing at a high rate globally.
Consequently
, the demand for more shopping centres and travelling and education facilities is rising. With more cars and
transport
vehicles available compared to previous decades, people are getting used to
this
way of
transport
at an unstoppable rate.
As a result
, the streets would always be busy and crowded.
Thus
, many social experts suggest that if it were not for mass car production, cities would definitely be quieter and less congested. By expanding digital ways of communication and transportation, humans could enter a new era in which except for necessary situations nobody would look for
transport
vehicles.
For example
, online shopping in many developed countries has significantly decreased the tendency of individuals to buy stuff in person.
Thus
, there is no need to go outside of the home and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cars or
busses
Correct your spelling
buses
show examples
.
Moreover
, ambulances and police personnel could easily move and do their duties as fast as possible in a solitary space.
On the other hand
, there are other ways which should be considered too.
For instance
, developing new facilities for transportation which use other passes like Tunnels and even airborne taxis could be effective too.
For example
, Elon Musk, a well-known entrepreneur is working on underground tunnels and fast railways in Los Angeles City in order to overcome the immense
traffic
of the city. In conclusion, people in many cities all around the world are suffering from
traffic
and the issue is growing every day. From my perspective, investing in new ways of communication and transportation between humans combined with developing advanced and different routes for
transport
could solve the
traffic
issue forever.
Submitted by m.lotfipour92 on

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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion about the given solution. However, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the implications and limitations of the proposed solution.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion and the main points are adequately supported. However, a more sequential organization of ideas and better use of linking devices would improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a mix of simple and complex language. However, there is room for improvement in the use of collocations and more precise and varied language.
Grammatical Range
The essay exhibits a good command of grammar and a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, more complex structures and a wider variety of sentence patterns would enhance the grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commuting patterns
  • Remote work
  • Telecommuting
  • E-learning platforms
  • E-commerce
  • Urban planning
  • Public transportation
  • Infrastructure development
  • Green spaces
  • Pedestrianization
  • Carbon footprint
  • Sustainable living
  • Carpooling
  • Cycle lanes
  • Mixed-use development
  • Teleconference
  • Urban sprawl
  • Zoning regulations
  • Traffic congestion
  • City logistics
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