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Band 7

Nowadays, people in most countries decide to have a children later in life. Why do they do so? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #countries #children #life #trend
In today's world, there is a debate about having
children
 at a younger age or an older age and most individuals delay having
children
 at a young age
due to
 various reasons. In
this
 regard, many people believe it is appropriate to make a decision to have
children
 later in life. In my opinion,
this
 trend seems quite comprehensive for many reasons and its pros outweigh the drawbacks noticeably. In the following essay, I will support
this
 point of view with likely explanations and practical examples.
To begin
 with most of the time, the agreement to have
children
 relies upon the financial stability of the newly married couple
therefore
 some believe starting a family with kids is a risk.
This
 is because not only it requires a strong relationship but
also
 the standard level of life with a stable financial income seems to be necessary these days.
Therefore
, both wife and husband should pursue their occupational goals in order to afford the expenses of pre-requirements
such
 as a house and basic facilities.
Consequently
, having offspring is going to become an unachievable dream in many underdeveloped countries.
On the other hand
, postponing the time for kids has its own negative aspects in matrimonial life. The most fundamental drawback of
such
 a decision could be that there is a strong chance that the married couple suffers from a lack of a strong relationship. In the long term,
this
 could bring adverse effects
such
 as depression, stress, interfertility and other health issues.
Accordingly
, couples may fall into a sedentary lifestyle because of a shortage of family responsibilities. In conclusion,
although
 having a baby can be determined as an important joint decision requiring considering different aspects, in spite of potential risks,
it is clear that
 the idea of delaying having babies until setting up a stable level of economic situation is more reasonable
due to
 the fact that advances in technology,
such
 as IVF, help older women become pregnant.
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task response
Ensure that the ideas are expanded and supported more fully to provide a more thorough response to the question and task requirements. Use more specific and relevant examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing the ideas more clearly to improve the overall coherence and cohesion. Use transition words and phrases to link ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Enhance the range and accuracy of vocabulary used. Utilize a wider range of synonyms and more advanced and precise vocabulary to express ideas.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence variety to improve overall grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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