Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

#people #sports

Sports

plays a vital role

to maintain

Change preposition

in maintaining

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better health and

create

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

youthful

Correct article usage

a youthful

show examples

generation

However

, recent trend shows that the younger

generation

is not spending

time

for doing

Verb problem

playing

show examples

games or athletics.

This

essay describes the causes for

such

trend

Correct article usage

a trend

show examples

which

includes

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

show examples

lack of motivation,

time

and

importance

Correct article usage

the importance

show examples

of physical

education

curriculum

Add an article

the curriculum

show examples

along with

the possible steps to overcome those problems.

To begin

with, why youngsters are not attracted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

, the new

generation

is primarily lacking motivation and interest towards

sports

This

is primarily because of their sedentary

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

and

effect

Correct article usage

the effect

show examples

of other technologies.

For example

, Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

kids and teenagers spend their

time

more with computer or mobile

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching movies or shorts ,playing online games , and social media

chatting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

On the other hand

, some of them are

keep

Wrong verb form

kept

show examples

away from

sports

due to

the limited access and high cost of

sports

facilities.

For instance

, in

town

Add an article

the town

show examples

area , the utilization of

sports

facilities either we have to go for club membership or for the payment.

Moreover

, the current

education

system is not allowing them to find appropriate

time

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

interest

Change preposition

show examples

sports

. Different approaches can

adopt

Wrong verb form

be adopted

show examples

to overcome the aforementioned problems which includes

inclusion

Add an article

the inclusion

show examples

of adequate physical

education

programme, free training centres and awareness programmes.

Firstly

, physical

education

should be part of

syllabus

Correct article usage

the syllabus

show examples

, exams and grades.

This

will not only motivate the students but

also

increase

the

Change the word

their

show examples

dedication to do the same in their busy

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

Secondly

, starting of

sports

complexes in various

location

Fix the agreement mistake

locations

show examples

of the town, which are accessible to the people for free or minimum cost. Most importantly awareness and weekly training

session

Fix the agreement mistake

sessions

show examples

for

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation

to be arranged to encourage or motivate the young

generation

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

practice. In conclusion, it is a fact that the current

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

, busy schedule and technology pull back

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation

from

sports related

Add a hyphen

sports-related

show examples

activities.

Nevertheless

such

scenario

Correct article usage

a scenario

show examples

can be overcome by suitable modification in curriculum, awareness

programme

Fix the agreement mistake

programmes

show examples

, and facilitating the surface to nurture their talent in an affordable way.

Submitted by unnikrishnanpp153 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay provides a coherent structure and relevant ideas, but the examples could be more specific and relevant to the points made.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure could be further developed to improve overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there is inconsistency in word choice and some expressions lack precision.

Grammatical Range

There is a good attempt to use a range of grammatical structures, but there are errors that hinder overall clarity and coherence. Check for subject-verb agreement and use of articles.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The topic of renewable energy is widely discussed these days. What are the main reasons behind the increasing use of renewable energy sources, and is this trend a positive or negative development for the environment?

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people believe that unpaid company services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more countries have a problem with plastic waste, polluting the countryside and oceans. What problems does it cause? How can these problems be solved?