IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph show changes in spending habits of people in thw uk between 1971 and 2001.

The graph show changes in spending habits of people in thw uk between 1971 and 2001.
#show #changes #habits #people #thw #uk
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The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 alterations in spending habits in the UK for 30 years period from 1971 to 2001.
Ragarding
Correct your spelling
Regarding
 to 1971 year period it can be seen that,
Food
Use synonyms
 had 44%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all UK
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 and cars were twice
lower
Correct word choice
as much
show examples
 than
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 segment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Petrol had one in ten
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
. Furniture was by 1% lower and restaurants for 3% by comparing with Petrol. Books and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 were unpopular in that era and had 6 and 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2001
Cars
Correct article usage
the Cars
show examples
 segment overtook
foods
Correct article usage
the foods
show examples
 segment and had more than
two fifth
Add a hyphen
two-fifth
show examples
 of all num.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
 and restaurants had identical
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 which was 14%.
Also
Linking Words
. Furniture had 8% and computers
uncreased
Correct your spelling
increased
show examples
 its proportion
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
books
Correct article usage
the books
show examples
 fraction
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
up
Change preposition
by up
show examples
 to 1%.
Overall
Linking Words
, what
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
 out is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in 2001 the highest spending proportion
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 cars
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the lowest
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 books.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 1971
Food
Use synonyms
 had the
bigest
Change the word
biggest
show examples
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 and computers the lowest.
Submitted by zarinadalab on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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