Older people often choose to spend money on themselves (e.g. on holidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement. Is this a positive or negative development?

The layout of resources among older people, particularly whether they choose to spend their money on personal indulgences like
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
show examples
rather than saving for their children’s inheritance, is a topic that sparks debate.
This
essay aims to assess whether
this
trend is a positive or negative development. Nowadays, the quality of
life
for old
individuals
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
spent most of their lives working and raising their families. Choosing to spend their
hard- earned
Correct your spelling
hard-earned
show examples
money on themselves in retirement can significantly enhance their quality of
life
. Holidays and leisure activities can contribute to improved mental and emotional well-being. Another positive aspect is reducing dependency, like investing in their own well-being, older people may reduce the charge on their children or society.
This
self- reliance
Correct your spelling
self-reliance
show examples
can be seen as a positive choice, as it helps individual responsibility and later
life
.
However
, the later years
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
life
should be a time for relaxation,
enjoyment
Correct word choice
and enjoyment
show examples
. Spending on personal interests can guide to a more
preforming
Correct your spelling
performing
show examples
retirement, which is, a positive outcome.
Although
older
individuals
might face unforeseen health or financial challenges in their later years. Overindulgence can leave them financially unprepared to cope with
such
emergencies, causing stress and hardship. Another negative step can be the generational values, in some
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
there is a strong emphasis on passing on wealth to the next generation. Neglecting
this
tradition may create tension within families and strain intergenerational relationships. In conclusion,
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
older
individuals
spending money on themselves rather than saving for their children is a positive or negative development depends on the perspective. It is crucial to strike a balance. Older
individuals
should have the freedom to enjoy their retirement, but they
most
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
also
consider the financial well-being of their children. Ultimately, the decision should be guided by
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
circumstances and values, ensuring a harmonious transition into the golden years.
Submitted by acaitaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea and supports it with relevant details. Work on organizing the arguments more effectively to improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed in the response. Develop the ideas more thoroughly and provide more specific examples to support the points made.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively. Additionally, pay attention to collocations and word choice to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to express ideas clearly and effectively. Vary sentence structures and use more complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: