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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #clothes #suits #jeans #development
every
country
 has its own uniqueness and distinct features implemented in their lifestyles. we can view
these diversity
Change the determiner
this diversity
show examples
 by looking at their fashion sense, creativity, and national habits that are shown in their daily lives.
however
, as time goes on, globalization
take
Change the verb form
takes
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 place bringing on the midst of the modern customs of the
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 countries. the increasing numbers of people throughout the world
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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dresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
dress
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 up
according to
 the laws of the
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 lands have
without
Add the comma(s)
, without
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 doubt, distinguished the facts that by the running time, their traditional cultures can be put
into
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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risk of extinction. personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with the latter. in
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to elaborate
Change preposition
on by
show examples
by
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 opinions regarding why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 chose
this
 as a negative development. in my opinion, being able to follow and adapt through the wildfire of globalization is exceptionally needed in
this
 digital era.
although
 it is
vbery
Correct your spelling
very
 important, we must never forget about ourselves
bwing
Correct your spelling
being
 the representative of our own
country
. of course each
country
 has its own symbol of disseminating
Correct pronoun usage
its
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their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 idiosyncratic natures, but the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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aspect
Correct word choice
important aspect
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 that played an immense role
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in
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to
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in
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this
 opportunity is
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apply
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on
Change preposition
apply
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the attire that we wear. clothing in the garments of the specified others somehow may
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
increase
 the branding of the
country
 and
lowering
Wrong verb form
lower
show examples
 the respect of what the ancestors bestow upon us.
Submitted by seyyuhhh on

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task response
Ensure that your essay adequately addresses the prompt. Provide clear reasoning and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by ensuring a clear introduction and conclusion and a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Influence
  • Perception
  • Modern
  • Trendy
  • Practicality
  • Comfort
  • Professionalism
  • Integration
  • Global economy
  • Cultural identity
  • Appreciation
  • Preservation
  • Individual expression
  • Freedom of choice
  • Positive
  • Negative
  • Impacts
  • Local industries
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