The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#effect #relationships #people

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that the use of technology or appliances has positive sides

whereas

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others do not.

However

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, I am one of the

people

Use synonyms

who think that technology has inevitable drawbacks, particularly in relationships between individuals and I agree with

this

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statement. So in

this

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essay, I will delve into

this

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stance.

To begin

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with, we have been using technology undeniably in every aspect of our lives and it has too many disadvantages

besides

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the advantages, especially for youngsters or adolescents.

For instance

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, nowadays the young population lacks attention and empathy, dropping self-esteem and emotional connection and they are

also

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struggling with some psychological disorders like social anxiety and bipolar because of the usage and addiction of social media and the internet from a young age.

In addition

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, these kinds of things cause disconnection and conflicts within the family, society, and personal relationships. As an example, maintaining a friendship, talking to tons of

people

Use synonyms

or having some face-to-face interactions might include a lot of struggle for those

people

Use synonyms

who have isolated themselves from the crowd and damage their relationships.

Moreover

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, those types of individuals are not able to do the work in high-population areas and in front of the stage. Despite the fact that they are aware of their situation,

nonetheless

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, they are not doing anything about

this

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circumstance because of their high level of anxiety.

To conclude

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, electronic gadgets, virtual communication and the digital world

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

dozens of bad sides and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

affect

people

Use synonyms

's social and interpersonal skills in real life.

Submitted by Ilgım on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction introduces the stance clearly, but the conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final opinion.

task achievement

There is a lack of specific examples and the response does not fully address the prompt, impacting the overall task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and there are issues with paragraph development.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

electronic devices
personal relationships
communication
social skills
face-to-face interaction
isolation
emotional connection
maintain friendships
screen time
technology addiction
social media
virtual communication
benefits
drawbacks
interpersonal skills
disconnect
digital world

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The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

Space travel has been made possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree?