Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

Nowadays,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
people
in big urban
areas
do not have
an
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
knowledge about their neighbourhood, The root cause for
this
is
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not friendly and just sit at home, yet it can be solved by a community organizer who can organize
activities
to link
people
over there. The principal cause for personality
if
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
people
in large cities. It must be recognised that it
is not have
Change the verb form
does not have
show examples
any enthusiasm between
people
. Residents in large cities go back home after
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
long day at work and
exhausted
Add a missing verb
are exhausted
show examples
so they just want to relax at their home
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
do not go out to communicate with
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
others.
Consequently
, if
yo
Correct your spelling
you
show examples
have
prolems
Correct your spelling
problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
your health or something, you can not ask for help from your neighbours, or you cannot have a good relationship with your zone and will be very lonely.
This
is true in many departments or residential
areas
in VietNam,
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not often talk with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
However
, a solution can be found in some community organizers who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
or good
organized
Replace the word
organisation
show examples
. The most effective
appoach
Correct your spelling
approach
is
people
in urban
areas
have a better partnership with their
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
show examples
.
As a result
, the manager who
control
Change the verb form
controls
show examples
this
area can organize many
activities
for
people
to join in and it is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
good way to improve links of
people
. Take the UK as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
example here, the
areas
which have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of public
activities
for
people
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
arond
Correct your spelling
around
there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
very
unite
Change the form of the verb
united
show examples
.
Therefore
, lazy
people
and children stem from strict education from parents
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
not want to go out.
Nevertheless
, a person who
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
there can plan some
activities
for
people
around there can join so it is very good for
relationship
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
show examples
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear, logical structure which makes it difficult to follow. Consider creating distinct paragraphs for the introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should succinctly present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the thesis in light of the evidence presented.
coherence cohesion
The main points need to be developed with more support, such as specific examples or further explanation. Each idea should be thoroughly examined and linked back to the question to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Although the essay does address the task, the response feels incomplete. Ensure that all aspects of the question are fully answered and that your ideas are explained in depth and detail.
task achievement
While some examples are provided, they need to be more relevant and specific. These examples should clearly demonstrate the problems and solutions in connection to not knowing one's neighbors in big cities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: