It is difficult for people living in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions can be taken to solve the problem? (Health)
In the modern world, many
people
prefer to live in a big town because they think that if they live in a big city, they will have a good future and these places have new technology more
than Correct quantifier usage
apply
a
rural Correct article usage
apply
city
. Fix the agreement mistake
cities
While
other think that people
who live in a big city will have physical problems because they do not have time
to work out. So, this
essay will discuss this
statement and will give reasons, and way
how to help with Fix the agreement mistake
ways
this
problem.
To begin
with, the reason why people
do not exercise. First of all, many people
do not have time
to exercise due to
they are working for a long hour
like my brother, he has been living in Bangkok, and he is working more than 8 hours per day so, he thinks that if he goes to fitness, he will spend many times there, and he Fix the agreement mistake
hours
do
not like it. Change the verb form
does
Therefore
, I think that the most Correct word choice
important reasons
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
that is
why new
generation Correct article usage
the new
do
not work out because their Change the verb form
does
time
.
On the other hand
, I think that time
for move
bodies Replace the word
moving
are
not important, and I believe that if everyone Correct subject-verb agreement
is
prefer
to work out, they can change their style. Change the verb form
prefers
For instance
, they can wake up in the morning and walking
to the office. Change the verb form
walk
Thus
, I think that the best way how
to solve Rephrase
apply
this
problem is changing
Wrong verb form
to change
people
Change noun form
people's
attitude
.
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
To sum up
, I think that the first reason why people
do not exercise because their
attitude, and the best way to solve Change preposition
of their
this
situation is changing
Change the verb form
to change
them
attitude.Change the pronoun
their
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are not effectively supported with relevant examples and explanations, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The response only partially addresses the task prompt. It provides limited ideas and examples with insufficient development. The essay lacks clear organization and fails to fully develop the given topic.
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