Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is longer sentences. Others may think there are alternate ways to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #sentences

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Many people argue that an increased prison time for convicts is a measure proficient at making a safer society,

while

Linking Words

others

belief

Replace the word

believe

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that it could

led

Change the verb form

lead

be led

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to an eruption in violence and fatal consequences for prisoners. I agree with the former viewpoint because security should be a major concern for every society. The biggest disadvantage of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

longer imprisonment is that it will increase the episodes of violence in jails.

Due to

Linking Words

insufficient resources, it is often difficult to manage more prisoners for the law enforcement agencies

Replace the punctuation

...

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Since

longer

Correct article usage

a longer

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prison sentence implies

Fix the agreement mistake

a greater

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number of criminals, it will amplify the crime rate in prisons.

Therefore

Linking Words

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

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in the duration of punishment significantly boost the violence , resulting in more physical assault cases in those places, which poses

threat

Correct article usage

a threat

show examples

to prisoners' life and safety alike.

However

Linking Words

, an increased sense of safety among citizens is a positive point of increasing the jail term for anti-social individuals. Many offenders embark on their journey of illegal activities because they are unfazed by the legal consequences of doing so and often get away with

meager

Change the spelling

meagre

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jail sentences.

Hence

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, stretching their imprisonment time,

such

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as 5 years for petty crimes, would Instill

Correct article usage

apply

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fear in them to reconsider their choices meticulously ;

as a result

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, could act as

deterrent

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a deterrent

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. I believe in the

zero tolerance

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zero-tolerance

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policy for any crime.

Therefore

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, I completely agree that even the smallest of crimes should be punished severely by raising the prison span of

such

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individuals to inculcate heightened sentiments of safety among

general

Add an article

the general

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populace.

Submitted by rohit.narad90 on Wed Nov 08 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay covers the main points of both views and provides a clear opinion. However, the examples used are not very specific or relevant to the points being made. More specific and relevant examples are needed to fully support the ideas presented.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure and the presence of introduction and conclusion are satisfactory. There is a reasonable progression of ideas and linking devices, but the essay could benefit from a more cohesive development of the ideas.

lexical resource

Lexical Resource: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses relevant words and phrases. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing that impact the overall lexical resource.

grammatical range

Grammatical Range: The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures and demonstrates control of a variety of complex structures. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and tense usage that could be improved.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is longer sentences. Others may think there are alternate ways to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional foods while others believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?