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Band 6

When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#people #work #luck #success
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The Role of Hard
Work
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,
Luck
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, and
Talent
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 in
Success
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 The concept of
success
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 is generally defined as the accomplishment of a goal or excellence in a specific field. There has always been a debate about whether
success
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 is the only result of hard
work
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 or influenced by
luck
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. Some people argue that only hard
work
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 is necessary for
success
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.
On the other hand
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, others believe that
luck
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also
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 contributes to
success
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.
While
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 hard
work
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 is undoubtedly crucial to
success
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, the importance of
luck
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 in achieving goals can't be ignored. And I think
talent
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 is a significant contributing factor as well. So, in my opinion, the key to
success
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 is hard
work
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,
luck
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, and
talent
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.
Firstly
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, hard
work
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 is an essential part of
success
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. The historical figure Thomas Edison once said, "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% hard
work
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." As another example, I faced challenges with solving math problems. In each test, the
number
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 of incorrect questions exceeded the total
number
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 of questions. So, it was faster to count the
number
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 of correct answers than to count the
number
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 of wrong answers.
However
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, I didn't give up and spent 6 to 7 hours a day studying math. I would seek out additional resources and solve problems repeatedly to understand math concepts.
This
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 process was not easy, but with time, my efforts began to bear fruit. My problem-solving skills improved, and my test scores began to rise. From
this
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 experience, I learned that
success
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 is the result of long-term commitment. Sometimes, we may not see immediate results despite our efforts.
However
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, with constant dedication and hard
work
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,
success
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 is achievable.
Secondly
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, I think
luck
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also
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 plays a big part in
success
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. There are many types of
luck
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,
such
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 as good
luck
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 with people, lottery-like
luck
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, place of birth, innate wealth, and more. Individuals born into wealthy families may have more advantages than those who are not,
such
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 as being able to use their financial wealth to get a quality education, pursue hobbies they are passionate about, and make great connections.
Also
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, winning the lottery can change a person's life overnight.
Moreover
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, it can
also
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 be a great
success
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 with a business that fits the trend of the times. In the same way, it is almost impossible to correctly guess the numbers of the lottery or to predict the trend of the times perfectly.
Therefore
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, I think
luck
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also
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 plays an important role in
success
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.
Finally
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,
talent
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 can make it easier to learn faster and reach higher levels of achievement in certain areas.
For instance
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, one of my friends went to the same piano academy as me. And she was very talented in music. She went to piano school later than I did, but she could play much more difficult piano pieces than I could.
Furthermore
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, she proved her
talent
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 by winning first prize in the first competition she entered. She later joined an orchestra and performed at the Seoul Arts Center. Today, she is enrolled in a prestigious music college. Looking at her, I realized what
talent
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 is. In
this
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 way,
talent
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 helps individuals excel in their fields and helps them realize their full potential.
Thus
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, I believe that
talent
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also
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 influences
success
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. In conclusion, hard
work
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 paves the way to
success
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,
along with
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 consistency, persistence, and patience.
Luck
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 helps take a step toward
success
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 by providing unexpected opportunities. And
talent
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 helps to excel in a particular field and achieve great things.
Therefore
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, I believe that hard
work
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,
luck
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 and
talent
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 are the essential ingredients of
success
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. What do you think are the key ingredients
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
success
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?
Submitted by fntl1490 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that the discussion of each point is directly related to the central argument of the essay. Avoid including information that may seem relevant but does not directly strengthen your stated position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between points and ideas. Effective use of linking words and phrases is important to provide clear progression between concepts.
task achievement
Provide a balanced discussion when the task requires the discussion of multiple perspectives. Ensure to spend sufficient time addressing competing views as much as your own opinion.
task achievement
Support arguments with specific examples. While personal anecdotes are valuable, consider incorporating a wider range of examples, including statistical data, research findings, or historical instances to validate points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • succeed
  • hard work
  • luck
  • success
  • view
  • opinion
  • essential
  • factor
  • chances
  • temporary
  • advantage
  • sustained
  • combination
  • develop
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • crucial
  • opportunities
  • individuals
  • make the most of
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