IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past important knowledge and history was stored in the museum. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet therefore is no longer need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#history #museum #information #internet #museums
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There is an opinion that all necessary information about science and
history
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 stored on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 these days and
museumes
Correct your spelling
museums
 are not needed any more. It is partly agreed that online knowledge is a good replacement for
museumes
Correct your spelling
museums
 and exhibitions nowadays. In
this
 essay, I will shed some light on the issue and provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my personal opinion about the topic.
To begin
 with, the
internet
 is a wonderful place where a lot of ideas and knowledge
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 their home. With the basic awareness about language and browsing
access
Add a comma
access,
show examples
 a person can find almost everything they want about math or
history
.
For instance
,
free-to-use
Correct article usage
the free-to-use
show examples
 platform Khan Academy provides hundreds of well-structured courses from
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum and helps kids throughout the world excel at humanity classes or math. So, the
internet
 definitely opened
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
huge possibilities for numerous people on our planet.
On the other hand
, the
internet
 is not capable
to provide
Change preposition
of providing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of community and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unique and rare exhibitions. Modern museums it is not only old
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things dug out in Peru or Spain,
it is
Add the word(s)
but it is also
show examples
 an ingenious and resourceful approach to
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 information among the citizens.
For example
, New York's Modern
History
 Museum has a tendency to arrange numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
immersive spectacles for all ages and helps youngsters to make their first steps in the
comprehensing
Correct your spelling
comprehension
comprehensive
 of science and
history
.
To sum up
, it can be clearly seen that the
internet
 could be a plausible replacement for modern museums and exhibitions in terms of accomulating
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 and
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 new
filelds
Correct your spelling
fields
.
However
, like cinema is not replaced
theature
Correct your spelling
theatre
, the
internet
 is not able to
substutute
Correct your spelling
substitute
 our desire to
gathering
Wrong verb form
gather
show examples
 together and to discuss our ideas in special facilities.
Submitted by 8453525 on

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Use more varied vocabulary and aim for clearer expression of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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