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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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Recently, the life expectancy of citizens has been presented as a continually increasing trend in an increasing
number
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 of countries.
This
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 essay will list some merits and demerits of
this
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 social phenomenon, and determine whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One of the compelling pros is that people living longer means that they can contribute more to the world, including human society and the natural environment.
This
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 is because individuals can have more time to focus on their careers or interests.
For instance
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,
scientists
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 can discover and invent more, writers can write more valuable articles, and artists can compose more artworks;
therefore
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, these results certainly benefit human society and the wild natural environment.
On the contrary
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, it
also
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 brings a potential issue, a
population
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 problem. which means higher
population
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 pressure on earth, because the
number
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 of newborns increasing with the
number
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 of deaths will lead to a
population
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 explosion, and limited natural
resources
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 cannot satisfy human's basic needs,
such
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 as food, water, and housing.
Hence
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, the
number
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 of people soaring has resulted in a scarcity of natural
resources
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.
Although
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 increased life expectancy does bring great stress on Earth,
this
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 social phenomenon usually happens in most developed countries.
Furthermore
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, developed countries likely have educated more
scientists
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, since there are advanced educational
resources
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 there. So, an increasing
number
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 of
scientists
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, especially those majoring in Environmental science, living longer and have more time to handle
this
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 dilemma, of a conflict between the
population
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 and natural
resources
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. In summary, increased life expectancy may bring advantages, like individuals can have more time to contribute to
this
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 world.
However
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, it
also
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 brings more pressure on natural
resources
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 which is the primary disadvantage. Fortunately,
scientists
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 may play a crucial role who are responsible for solving
this
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 problem to create a win-win situation. In short, in my humble opinion, its merits outweigh
demerits
Correct pronoun usage
its demerits
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of the essay is clear and follows a standard format with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but ensure that they effectively frame the essay and summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that main points are supported effectively and link to the overall argument of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt with a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of increasing life expectancy.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the ideas presented to ensure a clear and comprehensive discussion of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • advancements in medical technology
  • healthcare services
  • diagnosis and treatment
  • nutrition
  • healthy lifestyles
  • public health policies
  • vaccination programs
  • sanitation efforts
  • socioeconomic factors
  • standards of living
  • education levels
  • infant mortality rates
  • maternal care
  • mental health awareness
  • stress-related disorders
  • declining rates of smoking
  • substance abuse
  • genetic research
  • personalized medicine
  • hereditary diseases
  • longevity
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