ADULT YOUTH ARE OFTEN CALLED UP FOR WORKING FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF COMMINITIES. SOME PEOPLE SAY THEY SHOULD WORK VOLUNTARILY, OTHERS SAY THAT THEY SHOULD GET PAID. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.
To
development
of the Add an article
the development
community
, there are
Change the verb form
is
the
need Correct article usage
a
of
Change preposition
for
youth’s
warm blood. In Correct article usage
the youth’s
the
society some Correct article usage
apply
people
think to work
on the
Correct article usage
apply
community
development
young people
should get remuniration
, on the other Correct your spelling
remuneration
had
some Correct your spelling
hand
people
think that young people
do it without any payment. In this
paragraph
I am going to write Add a comma
paragraph,
the
both points and estate my view. Personally, I state the former view.
Remove the article
apply
Firstly
, youths are the future of our nation, they need to think about the nation’s prospect
and how can they give their best to their country. It is crucial for them Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
start
to Fix the infinitive
to start
work
on it from the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, if they work
on social development
, they will get to understand their interest of
Change preposition
in
work
in future. To do voluntary work
, youngster
will explore their future Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
work
whether they are interested to
Change preposition
in working
work
in climate change, study about animal
, Fix the agreement mistake
animals
work
for the
poverty reduction or Correct article usage
apply
development
of children. Admirably, Correct article usage
the development
work
for Wrong verb form
working
the
Correct article usage
apply
community
development
as voluntary work
will make them responsible to the people
of socity
.
On the other side, folk who believe young Correct your spelling
society
people
should be paid their
Change preposition
for their
community
work
, they
have their strong Correct pronoun usage
apply
point
. Young Fix the agreement mistake
points
people
want to live a luxery
life and tend to show up. So they need money. With Correct your spelling
luxury
this
money
they can Add a comma
money,
work
fulfill
some of their needs. Some youth live outside of Fix the infinitive
to fulfill
home
for their education purpose. It would be a great help for them to get some extra money, and that will be extremely useful for them. So they will be motivated to do more for the Add an article
the home
community
.
From my personal point of view, I think to do
Change the verb form
doing
volyntary
Correct your spelling
voluntary
work
for the community
is the gratest
thing youngster can do. Correct your spelling
greatest
This
is how they become the leader. With a small step
they can achieve the Add a comma
step,
long run
goals. They will become good human Add a hyphen
long-run
with
the Change preposition
in
helping
Verb problem
apply
community
without anything return
Change preposition
in return
to
their pocket.
Change preposition
for
To conclude
, some people
admire
that, youth should get payment to Verb problem
believe
work
on their community
development
and, some do not agree with that. I emphasized my point on
Change preposition
that
work
without payment is the best for them.Submitted by intothewildasalex on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt, but the points are not well-developed and lack depth. Provide more detailed and balanced arguments for both views and clearly state your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has some coherence and cohesion, but the organization and structure could be improved. Use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph and ensure that each paragraph follows a logical order.
lexical resource
The essay shows some range of vocabulary and attempts at using varied expressions. However, there are issues with word choice and accuracy. Work on expanding your vocabulary and using terms more appropriately.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including tense inconsistencies, subject-verb agreement issues, and word form inaccuracies. Pay more attention to your sentence structure and accuracy in using grammar and vocabulary.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.