Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
consumables contain processed Correct article usage
apply
sugar
and as a result
of consuming
Replace the word
consumption
in
the biggest reason for many Correct your spelling
is
health related
issues. Add a hyphen
health-related
Therfor
some Correct your spelling
Therefore
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
that sugary food and drinks should be priced high in order to control Correct word choice
apply
sugar
consumption. Eventhough
,Correct your spelling
Even
I
agree that Correct word choice
though I
sugar
products
are unhealthy, I firmly disagree that emphazing
only on the Correct your spelling
emphasising
price
alone on processed sugar
items do
not help to mitigate people buying Correct subject-verb agreement
does
on
sweet Change preposition
apply
products
. In this
essay, I will elloborate
why other factors Correct your spelling
explain
also
should be considered inorder
to demotivate customers Correct your spelling
in order
buying
Change preposition
from buying
such
products
.
To begin
with, consuming processed sugar
in high dosage
can cause many individuals to gain Fix the agreement mistake
dosages
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
uncurable
diseases Correct your spelling
incurable
such
as diabetes, cancer, insulin resistance, infertility, vision problem and many more. As an example, a study proved that many manufactured and imported products
available in the Sri Lankan market contain high level
of Fix the agreement mistake
levels
sugar
contain
. Verb problem
apply
As a result
of
, Change preposition
apply
a
recent research showed that, Sri Lanka has the highest number of diabetes patients Remove the article
apply
amoung
the other Correct your spelling
among
around
south
Capitalize word
South
asians
countries.
Correct your spelling
Asian
On the other hand
, the product pricing should be fair for all the buyers irrespective of the customer spending power. However
, the rich man will still end up buying sugar
products
eventhough
the Correct your spelling
even though
price
is high. For example
, Corn flakes are a popular breakfast opition
in many countries, but irrespective of the Correct your spelling
option
price
still people end up having corn flakes
as an easy option for Correct your spelling
cornflakes
morning
Add an article
the morning
a morning
meal
. In my opinion, apart from the pricing Fix the agreement mistake
meals
factor
there can be other form of ways to discourage customers Add a comma
factor,
buying
Change preposition
from buying
high
Add a hyphen
high-sugar
sugar
products
. For instance
, educating the public the
adverse Change preposition
on the
long term
effects of Add a hyphen
long-term
sugar
through media would help consumers to reduce sugar
intake. In a nutshell, eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
price
control on sugar
products
should not be the only factor to consider to demotivate the public from purchasing unhealthy produces
.
In conclusion, in today's Replace the word
products
world
most Add a comma
world,
of
Change preposition
apply
the
individuals suffer from diabetes or obesity Correct article usage
apply
due to
consuming high dosage
of Fix the agreement mistake
dosages
sugar
which I agree.
But I believe pricing Change preposition
with.
do
not Change the verb form
does
effect
consumers purchasing choice Correct your spelling
affect
on
unhealthy foods. Change preposition
of
Sugar
is the main ingredient for some foods and drinks but from proper knowledge to public
can help people to replace sweet will help to control Add an article
the public
sugar
intake in an individual.Submitted by shazraibrahimphotography2 on
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
The essay has some logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion are weak, and the overall coherence and cohesion could be improved.
lexical resource
The lexical resource shows some variety but lacks precision and accuracy in the use of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates an attempt at a range of complex and simple sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings.