The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?

#students #science #university #effects #society

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It is undoubtedly true that territory education is a fundamental need for everyone throughout the world. It is the one of aspects that helps the country to lead economically.

However

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, It is undeniable concept that

due to

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some causes the counting of admission in the science domain decreases at the university level. So, I will try to exhibit some of its causes and how it on the country in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence the reason why young avoid acceptance to the science domain after their secondary education is

due to

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the hefty fee structure

as well as

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job insecurity. To elaborate on

this

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, in third-world countries individuals have no enough money to complete their daily needs, how they can full fill of

this

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hefty fee structure to get accepted to university

that is

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why young people ignore the scientific stream. If they are able to complete their graduation in the medical domain, they are unable to secure an appointment

due to

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the demand for huge experience from organizations

such

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as hospitals and other science-related institutions.

For instance

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, In India, the price to get an M.B.B.S. is around crores so how anyone can obtain admission in

this

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Consequently

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, it leads to a decline in literacy in

this

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discipline.

Further

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, explores the effect that would hit the economy

as well as

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the physical fitness of the public of the country. The major effect would be the nation that does not have enough paramedical staff

as well as

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doctors unable to treat their patients at the right time. To

further

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explain

this

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ill individuals have to stand in long queues and wait for longer hours to get prescriptions from doctors. Even a few doctors will be unable to give the demanded time that the patient needs to fight with disease.

For example

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, in developing countries, individuals always fight with health issues and are unable to recuperate themselves.

As a result

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, they succumb to death at an early age. In conclusion, the government should take affirmative steps to change the trend they should manage the balance between the security of jobs

as well as

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salaries

this

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can lead the students toward

this

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discipline.

Submitted by jagdeepsandhu357 on Sun Nov 26 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult to follow your argument. It is essential to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with distinct ideas, and a conclusion that summarizes your points. Each paragraph should have one main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.

Task Achievement

While you do address the task given, more can be done to ensure a complete response. It's important that your essay clearly and comprehensively covers all parts of the prompt. This includes exploring causes in depth, discussing the specific effects on society, and offering developed solutions if the question requires. Try using more concrete and varied examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

360 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perceive
challenging
demanding
humanities
exposure
discourage
financial incentives
shortage
skilled professionals
technological progress
innovation
economic growth
global challenges
scientific literacy
informed decisions

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The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?

Include an introduction and conclusion

🔶Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

The image explains how Pu-erh ripe tea and raw tea are made

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even treatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?