IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#first #car #british #roads #year #million #vehicles #alternative #forms #transport #laws #control #ownership
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Of the most convenient ways of
transportation
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 around the world is by
car
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. Some
people
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 think that other means of
transportation
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 should be encouraged and there should be an international
law
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 to limit
car
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ownership
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 and use. I strongly agree with
this
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 view and believe that the benefits of controlling
car
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ownership
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 and use outweigh the drawbacks. There are many
transportation
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 means except
cars
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 which can be used that are more eco-friendly. Most of the time,
cars
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 carry one person which is the driver of the
car
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, but other public
transportation
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 which are buses or trains carry more than one passenger. Making a habit of using public
transportation
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, leads to less traffic, noise, and air pollution. Increasing risks of
car
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 accidents is another worrying issue which even upgrading
cars
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 is not effective. All of the mentioned advantages of using public
transportation
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 can accelerate with international
law
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that is
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 implemented in all countries. A
law
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 that restricted the use of
cars
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 and
ownership
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 to control their drawbacks.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 are not in favour of obeying a rule which commands them how to treat their property. When someone buys a product, you can not oblige them to follow a rule.
However
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, if actions are harmful to other
people
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, they can be meddled.
For example
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, smoking is abandoned in many areas by
people
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 who know that it is dangerous for health to breathe
while
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 someone is smoking beside you. By enforcing a
law
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, smoking abandoned in many countries,
although
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, they provided a special area for smoking. So with suitable laws, It would limit
car
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ownership
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 and restrict driving
cars
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 in the heart of the cities which are crowded places or the like. In conclusion, with growing the number of
car
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 owners and users. Controlling their number and enforcing international
law
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 are more advantageous for
people
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 as a whole. I believe that a reasonable number of
cars
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 would bring a healthier life.
Submitted by looordomid on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure the introduction presents a clear opinion and approach to the question.
Logical Structure
The essay lacks a cohesive structure and progression of ideas within paragraphs.
Logical Structure
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better link and develop ideas throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
Increase the variety and accuracy of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
Grammatical Range
Expand the range of grammatical structures and ensure their accurate use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
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