IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
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Nowadays, plenty of
people
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 in big urban
areas
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 do not have any knowledge about their neighbourhood, The root cause for
this
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 is
people
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 there are not friendly and just sit at home, yet it can be solved by a community organizer who can organize
activities
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 to link
people
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 over there. The principal cause for personality is
people
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 in large cities. It must be recognised that it does not have any enthusiasm between
people
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. Residents in large cities go back home after a long day at work and are exhausted so they just want to relax at their home and do not go out to communicate with others.
Consequently
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, if you have problems with your health or something, you can not ask for help from your neighbours, or you cannot have a good relationship with your zone and will be very lonely.
This
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 is true in many departments or residential
areas
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 in VietNam,
people
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 here do not often talk with each other.
However
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, a solution can be found in some community organizers who have good communication or good organisation. The most effective approach is
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people
Change preposition
for people
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 in urban
areas
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have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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 a better partnership with their neighbours.
As a result
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, the manager who controls
this
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 area can organize many
activities
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 for
people
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 to join in and it is a very good way to improve links of
people
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. Take the UK as an example here, the
areas
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 which have plenty of public
activities
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 for
people
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 living around there are very united.
Therefore
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, lazy
people
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 and children stem from strict education from parents who do not want to go out.
Nevertheless
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, a person who lives there can plan some
activities
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 for
people
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 around there can join so it is very good for a relationship.
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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and ensure that word choice is appropriate to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
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