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Band 4

Today, many people do not know thier neighbours in large cities. What problems does this causes ? What can be done about this?

#people #thier #neighbours #cities
The distance of neighbourhoods in large cities around the world is said to be worsening. The root cause for
this
 is
dependent
Replace the word
dependence
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 on technology devices in their leisure time , yet it can be solved by the authority or
government
 encouraging
residents
 to decrease the amount of time they use technology , regularly communicate with their neighbours or other The principal cause of neighbours' problems in large cities is the effect of technology and the cost of living by the condition was very extreme. It must be recognised that nowadays, the rate of losing
job
Add an article
a job
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 is higher
than
Change preposition
apply
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, so
people
 concentrate on working
due to
 they understand the result when they become unemployed.
Consequently
,
people
 in large cities don't have any time to rest, they can't communicate or talk with the neighbourhood because
that is
 impossible case.
This
 is true, in many developed countries, where, neighbourhood problems are worsening,but the authority of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
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 deal with that because
that is
 a hard condition.
However
, a solution can be found in
government
 action toward
residents
. The most effective approach is for the authority to explain
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 resident
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advantage of the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 and motivate some activities to create some relationships. If the action is successful,
residents
 can connect together and have a good social.
As a result
, the relationship between
people
 and
people
 was more friendly. Take the VietNam as an example, where
residents
 fit in with the
government
 and the other
residents
.
Therefore
, the problem of neighbourhoods stems from the issue of the challenge of survival and
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living.
Nevertheless
 , the effectiveness of
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 improves the connection of
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples

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Task Response
Clearly state your position and provide a clear purpose in your introduction. Ensure that your conclusion restates your position and summarizes the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a more coherent structure by organizing your ideas more effectively. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic and supporting sentences that directly relate to that topic.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and contextually appropriate words. Also, work on using collocations and idiomatic language to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
Focus on improving the accuracy of your grammar. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, use of articles, prepositions, and sentence structure. Work on using a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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