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Band 4

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities . What problems does this cause ? What can be done about this ?

#people #neighbors #cities
There can be little doubt that citizens in urban nowadays nearly do not interact with their neighbours. The root cause for
this
 is the business of each other for working, yet it can be solved by spending more
time
 getting understand their neighbourhoods.
This
 is the first place, the fast pace now in developing cities is one of the reasons
makes
Correct pronoun usage
that makes
show examples
 a big difference between residents and their neighbours. Most people nowadays have to catch up with money and benefits, which is the reason that
makes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they have just a little
time
 for their family
as well as
 themselves
instead
 of interacting with neighbours.
As a result
, the distance of their relationship becomes so far and day-to-day living apathetically.
For instance
, in an improving city like Ho Chi Minh, Individuals have to work from 7.00 a.m. to 6.00 p.m. or midnight to earn money that
enough
Add a missing verb
is enough
show examples
service
Fix the infinitive
to service
show examples
 their lives and they do not have enough
time
 to hang out or visit their
neighbors
 or both their family.
However
, a result can be found
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should be given more solutions like having more days off. The most effective approach is spending more
time
 to understand their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. For that idea, people can spend more
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hanging out with them to gain more knowledge and information about the area they are living or maybe
that is
 the solution to help them take care of their family.
For example
, Taking part in more community activities is a good solution to improve their relationship.
Therefore
 , being occupied with work is
also
 the reason
cause
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the poor relationship between people and
neighbors
 . For that reason, Spending more
time
Correct your spelling
understanding understand
understandingunderstand
Correct your spelling
understanding
 their
neighbors
 is the best solution to deal with that problem

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task response
The essay lacks clear and relevant examples to support the main points. There is a need to develop each main point with specific and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion need improvement. The essay should be organized in a more coherent and cohesive manner.
lexical resource
The lexical resource needs improvement. The vocabulary and word choice are limited, and there are instances of inaccuracies and inappropriate word usage.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the essay. The range of sentence structures is limited, and there are issues with sentence clarity and coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
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