You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

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Often First
World
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Countries
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lend huge amounts of
money
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as financial
aid
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to
third
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world
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countries
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to eradicate poverty. Rich
Countries
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should help Poorer
Countries
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by different means rather than only giving financial assistance. I strongly agree it won't help in eliminating the poverty levels in
third
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world
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nations
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. I will be discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
it briefly with ideas and examples of how it is affecting
third
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-
world
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nations
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.
Third
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World
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Countries
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tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
to receive large sums of
money
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as financial
aid
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and they are not using it in nation-building.
Instead
Linking Words
, They are using it to buy weapons for their defence or they are giving it as financial
aid
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to terrorist organizations.
For example
Linking Words
, Let us take Pakistan, a nation where almost all its national reserves are completely drained asking for financial
aid
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from a superpower nation-
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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. They will lend billions of
money
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to uplift the country but they are more interested in developing weapons to combat their enemies and
also
Linking Words
pumping those amounts into terrorist organisations both directly and indirectly.
This
Linking Words
example
on
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of
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how a
third
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-
world
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country is not completely interested in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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economy. Rather than giving complete financial
aid
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to the poorer
countries
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, they can directly go and help them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
of giving relief funds to natural calamities like tsunamis, earthquakes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
storms etc, They can send some special task force to the affected
countries
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and help them.
Also
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, Developed
Countries
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help undeveloped
countries
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with technology sharing and training their resources. Like, the USA can
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
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in training
third
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-
world
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nations
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in different fields like engineering, medicine and other important areas for national building.
However
Linking Words
, Some developed
countries
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know that their
money
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is used for illegal activities but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
they support giving financial
aid
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because they are more interested in influencing the geo-political sphere. It can be concluded that giving financial
aid
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do
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does
show examples
help some poorer
countries
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but not completely. It
also
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shows how
third
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world
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nations
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especially leaders who are ruling these
countries
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are not able to manage the
money
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properly or rather
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
it to fill their pockets.
Third
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World
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Nations
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should seriously solve their problems and developed
nations
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should help them to achieve their goals to create
a
Change the article
an
show examples
equitable
world
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.
Submitted by vigvic013 on

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coherence cohesion
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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