You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
Often First
World
Countries
lend huge amounts of money
as financial aid
to third
world
countries
to eradicate poverty. Rich Countries
should help Poorer Countries
by different means rather than only giving financial assistance. I strongly agree it won't help in eliminating the poverty levels in third
world
nations
. I will be discussing about
it briefly with ideas and examples of how it is affecting Remove the preposition
apply
third
-world
nations
.
Third
World
Countries
tends
to receive large sums of Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
money
as financial aid
and they are not using it in nation-building. Instead
, They are using it to buy weapons for their defence or they are giving it as financial aid
to terrorist organizations. For example
, Let us take Pakistan, a nation where almost all its national reserves are completely drained asking for financial aid
from a superpower nation- USA
. They will lend billions of Correct article usage
the USA
money
to uplift the country but they are more interested in developing weapons to combat their enemies and also
pumping those amounts into terrorist organisations both directly and indirectly. This
example on
how a Change preposition
of
third
-world
country is not completely interested in their
economy.
Rather than giving complete financial Correct pronoun usage
its
aid
to the poorer countries
, they can directly go and help them. For instance
, instead
of giving relief funds to natural calamities like tsunamis, earthquakes and
storms etc, They can send some special task force to the affected Correct word choice
apply
countries
and help them. Also
, Developed Countries
help undeveloped countries
with technology sharing and training their resources. Like, the USA can involve
in training Wrong verb form
be involved
third
-world
nations
in different fields like engineering, medicine and other important areas for national building.
However
, Some developed countries
know that their money
is used for illegal activities but still
they support giving financial Add a comma
still,
aid
because they are more interested in influencing the geo-political sphere.
It can be concluded that giving financial aid
do
help some poorer Change the verb form
does
countries
but not completely. It also
shows how third
world
nations
especially leaders who are ruling these countries
are not able to manage the money
properly or rather using
it to fill their pockets. Wrong verb form
use
Third
World
Nations
should seriously solve their problems and developed nations
should help them to achieve their goals to create a
equitable Change the article
an
world
.Submitted by vigvic013 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer introduction and conclusion to provide a better framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support the main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive and balanced response addressing both sides of the argument more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand the lexical range by using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the quality of the essay.
grammatical range
Use a wider range of complex structures and sentence patterns to demonstrate grammatical flexibility and command.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example