the table and the charts below give information the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a one area of britian. the table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed

the table and the charts below give information the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a one area of britian. the table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed
The given table illustrates the different sources which
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
the
police
fund
in one region of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
in both 2017 and 2018,
while
the pie charts compare in which fields
this
fund
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
.
Overall
, the national government provided the biggest amount of the
police
budget in both years and the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
largest proportion of the money spent on the
workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
show examples
payment.
According to
the table, the money which all sources allocated to the
police
centre increased from 2017 to 2018. So, the total budget for 2018 experienced a noticeable rise from 304.7 to 318.6 million pounds.
Totally
Rephrase
In total
show examples
, the government provided the biggest
fund
for
police
,
while
local taxes ranked as the second supporter. Less than 40 million
punds
Correct your spelling
pounds
funds
received
Add a missing verb
were received
show examples
from other sources in both years (38m pounds in 2017 and 38.5m pounds in 2018). As the pie charts show, the largest percentage of money
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salaries but it decreased from 75% in 2017 to 69% in 2018. More than 15% (17%) of the
fund
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
for buildings and transportation in 2017 and
this
amount remained constant in 2018. The expenditure for technology rose about 6% during
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
(8% in 2017 and 14% in 2018).
Submitted by z.rajabi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words police, fund with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: