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Band 4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
Some people argue that the most important natural problem today is the extinction of groups of plants and animals
while
 others imply that there are other more important areas of natural
problems
 to address
on
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apply
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. In my opinion, I believe losing a whole species of an organism is
a
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one reason
of
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for
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 many to be alerted regarding
the
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apply
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nature and its balance. Both plants and animals are key features that protect the
eco system
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ecosystem
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 on the earth. Each
have
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has
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their
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its
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 own role to play to co-exist and to
keeping
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keep
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 the world alive.
Due to
 industrialization lots of forests were cut off to supply
woods
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wood
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 which endangered some plants and animals
while
 some
been
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have been
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 completely wiped off from our planet. Another incident is that
hunting
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the hunting
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 habits of people in past centuries
,
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 took away the bird species called Dodo from our
eco system
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ecosystem
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. The downside of
this
 is that
,
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apply
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 it could affect the food chain
in
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on
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 our planet
take
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and take
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 out the balance between the carnivores and the herbivores. Apart from the concern about the living species and their existence, there are other issues like climate change and its effects on the earth and it
also
 should be addressed
prompltly
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promptly
.
Due
to
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emission of lots of carbon
to
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into
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 the atmosphere,
it
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apply
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has led to air pollution
as well as
 to
the damaging
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damage
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of
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to
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 the ozone layer which resulted in global warming. The rivers and fountains are drying up, the glaciers are melting and the sea water level is continuously rising.
This
 can be a threat to the lives of all living beings in the
eco system
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ecosystem
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 in the long run. In conclusion, when it comes to environmental
problems
, we should not only talk about the loss of groups of organisms but should be mindful
about
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of
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 other
eco
problems
 like climate change.
Therefore
, we cannot draw a line between these two issues and have to consider these
problems
 as a whole and have a holistic and sustainable approach to address these issues.
Submitted by Tharinee on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is evident but needs improvement in connecting ideas and maintaining coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need further development to enhance clarity and effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well-supported, but more specific and relevant examples could strengthen the essay.
task achievement
The response is complete, but the ideas presented could be more comprehensive and clear.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates relevant points, but more specific examples and elaboration would enhance the clarity and depth of the ideas.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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