IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
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Some people argue that the most important natural problem today is the extinction of groups of plants and animals
while
Linking Words
 others imply that there are other more important areas of natural
problems
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 to address
on
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apply
show examples
. In my opinion, I believe losing a whole species of an organism is
a
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apply
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one reason
of
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for
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 many to be alerted regarding
the
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apply
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nature and its balance. Both plants and animals are key features that protect the
Use synonyms
eco system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
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 on the earth. Each
have
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has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own role to play to co-exist and to
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
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 the world alive.
Due to
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 industrialization lots of forests were cut off to supply
woods
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wood
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 which endangered some plants and animals
while
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 some
been
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have been
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 completely wiped off from our planet. Another incident is that
hunting
Correct article usage
the hunting
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 habits of people in past centuries
,
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apply
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 took away the bird species called Dodo from our
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eco system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
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. The downside of
this
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 is that
,
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apply
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 it could affect the food chain
in
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on
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 our planet
take
Correct word choice
and take
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 out the balance between the carnivores and the herbivores. Apart from the concern about the living species and their existence, there are other issues like climate change and its effects on the earth and it
also
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 should be addressed
prompltly
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promptly
.
Due
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to
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apply
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emission of lots of carbon
to
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into
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 the atmosphere,
it
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apply
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has led to air pollution
as well as
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 to
the damaging
Wrong verb form
damage
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of
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to
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 the ozone layer which resulted in global warming. The rivers and fountains are drying up, the glaciers are melting and the sea water level is continuously rising.
This
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 can be a threat to the lives of all living beings in the
Use synonyms
eco system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
show examples
 in the long run. In conclusion, when it comes to environmental
problems
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, we should not only talk about the loss of groups of organisms but should be mindful
about
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of
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 other
eco
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problems
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 like climate change.
Therefore
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, we cannot draw a line between these two issues and have to consider these
problems
Use synonyms
 as a whole and have a holistic and sustainable approach to address these issues.
Submitted by Tharinee on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
The response is complete, but the ideas presented could be more comprehensive and clear.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates relevant points, but more specific examples and elaboration would enhance the clarity and depth of the ideas.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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