It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

#aspiration #people #business #work #employer

These days,it common aim of many people leaving university to try to start up their own

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

.They believe that running a

business

has many advantages over working for someone else,

such

as the freedom to make your own

decision

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decisions

show examples

.I agree with

this

point of view,but it is important to bear in mind that running a

company

does not suit everybody. There are several benefits of setting up your own

business

.For

Add a comma

me,

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the main one is that you have room to be creative.

Instead

of having to follow your

employers

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employer's

show examples

decisions,you can set the goals for the

business

yourself,which means that you feel more in control.

This

generally results in people feeling happier in their

job

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jobs

show examples

. Not only that,you can

also

keep the profits if the

company

is successful.If all goes well you will earn

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more than if you work for someone else.

For example

,if you set up your own graphic design

company

,and you build a good reputation you will be able to make substantial profits.You will

therefore

be more motivated to work hard,in order to make a successful of your

company

. Having said that,it is undeniable that running a

business

is risky.If there is an economic downturn,or you make mistakes in your

business

decision,your

company

can go bust,which can mean that you lose everything and you have to lay off your staff.

Moreover

,it is very hard to switch off at

weekeneds

Correct your spelling

weekends

,because the

business

is always in the back of your mind.

To sum up

although

there is no doubt there are some risks associated with running your own

business

,I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks,particularly with regard to making

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

However

,it should be said that not everyone is a risk-taker and some prefer to work for someone else.

Submitted by sanganiankita2023 on Wed Nov 08 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully responds to the task question. Address both the advantages and drawbacks of working for yourself in comparison to working for an employer.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization and flow of the essay. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Increase the variety and accuracy of vocabulary used. Work on using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas with more precision and sophistication.

grammatical range

Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar. Work on using a wider variety of sentence structures and grammatical forms to enhance clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aspiration
entrepreneur
flexibility
decision-making
financial rewards
personal fulfillment
challenges
financial risk
invested capital
cash flow
guaranteed income
work-life balance
responsibility
pressure
burnout

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It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Nowadays tourism has great impact on society. Do you agree or disagree.