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Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars, and other items from famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #clothes #cars #items #brands #development
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Many
people
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 want to buy clothes, cars, and other expensive
items
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 from famous brands. The reasons behind
this
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 are famous branded
products
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 are long-lasting, and these
products
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 look expensive. I personally believe that it is a positive development because these
products
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 are long-lasting,
therefore
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,
people
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 can
use
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 these
products
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 for a long
time
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, and it is
also
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 beneficial for the
environment
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.
People
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 want to buy famous branded
products
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 because they are long-lasting.
Products
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 from famous brands
such
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 as clothes, cars and other stuff have good qualities,
therefore
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, they
last
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 long and
people
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 can
use
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 them year after year.
Moreover
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, famous branded
products
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 are expensive, and one can easily identify them as branded
items
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.
As a result
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, those who wear branded
items
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 look expensive and rich in the eyes of others.
For example
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, many
people
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 love to wear wrist
watch
Fix the agreement mistake
watches
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
Rolex
Correct article usage
the Rolex
show examples
 brand only because the whole outfit of a person looks rich because of the watch. I personally believe that purchasing expensive
products
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 is a positive development for
people
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 because they are long-lasting, and can be used for a long period of
time
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.
This
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 helps to save their money.
In addition
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, buying expensive
products
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 is
also
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 beneficial for the
environment
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 because the process of manufacturing these
products
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 is not suitable for the
environment
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. If
people
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 reuse
products
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 it helps to save the
environment
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 from pollution, which is produced by product manufacturing.
For instance
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,
people
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 from the USA are generally
environment
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 conscious,
therefore
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, they believe in purchasing branded
items
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 because they can
use
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 them for a long
time
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, which is an environmentally sustainable way to
use
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 something. In conclusion,
people
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 prefer to buy expensive
products
Use synonyms
 because they are long-lasting and they look expensive. It is a positive development because
people
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 can
use
Use synonyms
 them for a long
time
Use synonyms
, which saves their money and is beneficial for the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider enhancing the logical flow between your main points and examples to further strengthen coherence.
Task Achievement
Try to discuss potential negative aspects or counterarguments to achieve a more balanced response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
You effectively used relevant examples to support your main points.
Task Achievement
The task response effectively addresses all parts of the prompt.
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