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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #information #features #comparisons
In the
Change preposition
The
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 graph bar from 2010 have information about consumer good between two
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
:
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 and France.
Overall
, both of the same
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 are almost
in
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on
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 the same level about computers,
therefore
 it is completely different when the topic is cameras.  The biggest difference is about cameras, France bought cameras 150,000
although
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 passed by
this
 number and got 350,000 that means,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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double. Another
point
Correct word choice
interesting point
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interisting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 it is about computers, these countries are close
from
Change preposition
to
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 each other, a little bit over only 30,000. Other subjects,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 car is
interisting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 as well, because it is the second topic with less difference. France
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 the top,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 it is just 50,000
of
Change preposition
apply
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difference from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 (300,000) In general,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 is
in
Correct your spelling
an
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advange
Correct your spelling
advance
advantage
is
Correct your spelling
in
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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things, except
in
Change preposition
apply
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perfume and computers.
Submitted by cristina.gpereira on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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