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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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Some
people
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 say
music
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 can gather
people
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 who
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 from different ethnicities and cultural upbringings and age gaps together. In my opinion, I believe
this
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 statement has a truth to it. Here, you will see the reasons why.
Music
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 can be considered as a universal language as the tones and the sounds used by all the musicians around the
world
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 are the same,
that
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and
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 only their naming of the codes is the only difference they have.
Therefore
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, in order to learn and appreciate
music
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, one should not have to have an understanding of another language.
Love
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 for
music
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 has no age limit. When you see singers or bands who were popular in the 80’s and
90’s
Correct your spelling
90s
 performing today, to name a few, “
guns
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Guns
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 and
roses
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Roses
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” and “Bryan Adams”, you see young
people
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as well as
Linking Words
 the older generation
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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present at concerts. In today’s
world
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people
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 have access to all the
music
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that is
Linking Words
 available in the
world
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 at clicks away because of the internet. Before
this
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, back in the 90’s
music
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has been
Wrong verb form
was
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 recorded and sold in cassettes and CDs.
Therefore
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, songs from the past have been passed on to the present day. The language of
music
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 is
love
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 and it can break barriers and move past armies of soldiers to reach
people
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 all around the
world
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. The song called “Imagine” by John Lennon is a very popular one which
known
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is known
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 by many ethnic
people
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, solely because it talks about
love
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 and peace. Another example is the singer Michael Jackson who was adored by heaps of
people
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 because he addressed social disparities in the
world
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.
Love
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 for Jackson was seen when the whole
world
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 wept for his death in 2010. In conclusion,
music
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 can bring
people
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 with different traditions and ages together and it is a very efficient way to address
world
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 problems like war, racism and climate change.
Submitted by Tharinee on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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