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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets. Summarize the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets. Summarize the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #proportion #carbohydrates #protein #three #diets #features #comparisons
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The given pie charts
ilustrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 three types of meals
contained
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
carbohydrate
Use synonyms
, protein and fat levels. All data
presents
Wrong verb form
is presented
show examples
 as
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, all three types of
diet
Use synonyms
 have more
Use synonyms
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
 than other
nutretions
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 for sport have more than half of
Use synonyms
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 Average meal plan accounted
40
Change preposition
for 40
show examples
%
prorotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
Use synonyms
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
 and protein, both have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 percentages.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
diet
Use synonyms
 has 20%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fat which is the
less
Replace the word
least
show examples
include
Wrong verb form
included
show examples
neutrition
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 in the average meal plan.
However
Linking Words
,
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
show examples
 meal has 50% of
Use synonyms
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
while
Linking Words
 protein
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounts
show examples
30
Change preposition
for 30
show examples
% and fat
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounts
show examples
20
Change preposition
for 20
show examples
%. In healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 has half of
carbohydrate
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 sports meal plan has 60%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
, which is more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 half
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 meal. In
this
Linking Words
diet
Use synonyms
 has 25% of
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
 and 15% of fat.
Average
Correct article usage
The average
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 and
Healthy
Correct article usage
a Healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 contain
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount of fat which is 20% and
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
Use synonyms
diet
Change noun form
diet's
show examples
carbohydrate
Use synonyms
 and
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
 level is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
Submitted by Sa.inaka on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbohydrate, diet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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