IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmers to protect environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumers #people #farmers #environment #support #businesses #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 are exported from various
countries
Use synonyms
 to customers throughout the world.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that we should promote local businesses by purchasing
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 from local farmers, which
also
Linking Words
 protects our environment from issues
such
Linking Words
 as pollution and congestion.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the pros and cons of the given situation and share my viewpoint with pertinent data. On the one hand, there are immense benefits in importing
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 from different
countries
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 ,
this
Linking Words
 could enhance globalisation, which provides opportunities for developing
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as India and China to promote their
food
Use synonyms
 business in
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
 market.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people have more choices to purchase their
items
Use synonyms
 for cheaper prices from various locations
due to
Linking Words
 the competition in
supply
Add an article
the supply
show examples
 chain of
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there is no demand and ultimate
food
Use synonyms
 resources are available all the time to customers.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Canada,
although
Linking Words
 we cannot farm all year round, we have vegetables and fruits available for customers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we cannot deny the fact that it has devastating impacts on our environment and
destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local farming.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that there are vehicles emitting fumes during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 transportation that
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 issues
such
Linking Words
 as pollution and traffic.
Also
Linking Words
, if we encourage the
food
Use synonyms
 supply from different
countries
Use synonyms
, our local farmers would be jobless which in turn impacts the local economy.
As a result
Linking Words
, we have to rely on other
countries
Use synonyms
 always and creates
food
Use synonyms
 scarcity.
For example
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 summer there was a huge demand for rice in Canada because the supply was discontinued from India. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 we have ample advantages
due to
Linking Words
 globalisation, the negatives outweigh the positives because of the impacts on our environment and local economy. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by jeeanay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear and easy to follow. The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. However, the main points need to be more fully supported with relevant examples and reasoning.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and comprehensive response to the task. There are clear and relevant ideas presented throughout. However, the support for the main points needs to be further developed to strengthen the argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: