IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmers to protect environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days
food
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items
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 are exported from various
countries
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 to customers throughout the world.
While
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 some people argue that we should promote local businesses by purchasing
food
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items
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 from local farmers, which
also
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 protects our environment from issues
such
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 as pollution and congestion.
This
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 essay will discuss both the pros and cons of the given situation and share my viewpoint with pertinent data. On the one hand, there are immense benefits in importing
food
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items
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 from different
countries
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.
Firstly
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 ,
this
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 could enhance globalisation, which provides opportunities for developing
countries
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such
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 as India and China to promote their
food
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 business in
global
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the global
show examples
 market.
Secondly
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, people have more choices to purchase their
items
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 for cheaper prices from various locations
due to
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 the competition in
supply
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the supply
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 chain of
food
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items
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.
Consequently
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, there is no demand and ultimate
food
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 resources are available all the time to customers.
For instance
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, in Canada,
although
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 we cannot farm all year round, we have vegetables and fruits available for customers.
On the other hand
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, we cannot deny the fact that it has devastating impacts on our environment and
destroy
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destroys
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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local farming.
This
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 is to say that there are vehicles emitting fumes during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
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 transportation that
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 issues
such
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 as pollution and traffic.
Also
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, if we encourage the
food
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 supply from different
countries
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, our local farmers would be jobless which in turn impacts the local economy.
As a result
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, we have to rely on other
countries
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 always and creates
food
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 scarcity.
For example
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,
last
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 summer there was a huge demand for rice in Canada because the supply was discontinued from India. In summary,
although
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 we have ample advantages
due to
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 globalisation, the negatives outweigh the positives because of the impacts on our environment and local economy. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
this
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 outweigh the advantages.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear and easy to follow. The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. However, the main points need to be more fully supported with relevant examples and reasoning.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and comprehensive response to the task. There are clear and relevant ideas presented throughout. However, the support for the main points needs to be further developed to strengthen the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • sustain
  • local economies
  • freshness
  • nutritious
  • preservatives
  • community
  • consumer-farmer relationships
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • limited availability
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