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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Television serves many useful functions. It helps people to relax. Besides, it can also be seen as a companion for lonely people. To what extent do you agree with this? Explain why with your own experience.

#television #functions #people #companion
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The impact of
television
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 has sparked major controversy in society.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
television
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 helps
people
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 to relax and might bring several advantages, others claim that the opposite holds true.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and
thus
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 lead to a logical conclusion.
First,
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there are numerous reasons why
television
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 helps
people
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 to relax and might bring several advantages, but the most crucial one stems from the fact that knowledge and information about our surroundings will play a vital role in the
companion
Replace the word
companionship
show examples
 of humankind. As a matter of fact, reality and comedy shows will offer tons of benefits to the family and have many reasons for entertainment and humanity.
According to
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 a recent study conducted by reputable researchers at Sydney University,
programs
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 available on TV
such
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 as news
programs
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 and movie
programs
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 will greatly contribute to serving many useful functions for lonely
people
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.
Nevertheless
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, some
people
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 adopt an opposing view and tend to believe that the opposite holds true. It is largely attributed to the fact that children watching TV enough may have negative impacts on their sleep and health. To be more precise, the disadvantages of interfering with study time and daily life might be
due to
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 time wastage and heavy TV viewing.
For instance
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, the downsides of bad and good
programs
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 or channels are critical. In conclusion,
while
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 there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I strongly believe that
television
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 helps
people
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 to relax and might bring several advantages.
Submitted by Klein_shy on

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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, but the response could be more focused on addressing the specific prompt. Consider providing clearer examples and elaborating on the personal experience more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is present, but the essay could benefit from a more explicit introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph is well-connected, and the flow of ideas is maintained throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used is fairly appropriate, but there is room to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
grammatical range
Although the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, varying sentence structures and the use of more complex grammatical forms would further elevate the quality of the writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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