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Some people believe that the latest technology is creating a divide between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #divide
It is debatable that the gap between the rich and the poor is strengthened by state-of-the-art technology. I partially agree with
this
 view/ notion and I will enumerate my reasons below.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons why
the
Correct article usage
apply
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up-to-date technology gives rise to the disparity between the high and low -income brackets. For one thing, the benefits of some technologies are exclusive to the rich,
whereas
 the poor cannot have them.
This
 is because several devices are prohibitive, causing different living styles.
For example
,
although
 not only are robotic vacuum cleaners and dishwashers useful and convenient but
also
 make life more relaxing, they tend to be consumed only by the affluent since they are overpriced. In spite of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 mentioned above, I am of the opinion that technological development has mitigated the detrimental aspects of the wealth gap.
Firstly
, the quality of life has shown upward standardization
due to
 the prevalence of certain technologies
such
 as transportation, communication ,and health, which have reduced the expenses of people. Case in point,
although
the
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apply
show examples
mobility
such
 as a horse or a carriage
were
Change the verb form
was
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 occupied by only the upper class in the past , these days ,anyone can easily use
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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 and subway to move around at cheap costs. Another reason in favor of
this
 view is that the educational gap has declined owing to the dissemination of the internet, providing people with low-cost, even free, and infinite academic
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
For instance
, someone can learn German from YouTube videos or can enroll at a cyber university which requires lower tuition. In conclusion,
although
 / even though, the latest technology can lead to deeper social division
according to
 income level, there are more strong advantages concerned with the standard of living.
Submitted by moonmond15 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed fully, and provide a more balanced assessment of the issue at hand.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear overall structure, and the introduction and conclusion could be improved to provide a stronger framework for the argument.
Lexical Resource
Vary your vocabulary and strive for more precise and formal language throughout the essay. Consider using more specific terms and avoiding repetitive phrases.
Grammatical Range
Strive for greater accuracy and complexity in sentence structures. Work to eliminate errors in punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and word choice.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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