IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of politicians, rather than individuals, to reduce the world's environmental damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #responsibility #politicians #individuals #world #damage
There is a debate about whether politicians have more duty to alleviate the environmental problems all over the world or a single person does. I partly agree with
this
 contention and I will enumerate my reasons below.
To begin
 with, there are some reasons why
an the
Choose an article
a
the
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 public
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 responsible for environmental pollution. For one thing,
although
 there are some adequate laws, it is useless if someone does not abide by the laws.
For example
, in South Korea, there is an ordinance that regulates the
use
 of disposable cups. When people decide to
use
 it, they have to environmental fees.
However
, they still
use
 them a lot since it is convenient.
Therefore
, the ordinance has become ineffective.
For
this
 reason, individual action is crucial in the protection of the environment, even if there is a perfect law. In spite of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 mentioned above, I endorse the view that politicians should play a more important role in environmental conservation.
Firstly
, they have legitimate authority to make major decisions as they are representatives of the public.
Thus
, they can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laws that can viably regulate adverse actions to the environment.
For instance
, they can enact guidelines in order to restrict the carbon emissions of factories. Another reason commonly put forward is that politicians have a huge influence on the people.
Hence
, it would be readily publicized provided that the representatives practice eco-friendly actions. Case in point, if they
use
 a tumbler
instead
 of disposal cups or commute by bicycle rather than car, the public could follow them, encouraging these campaigns. In conclusion,
although
 individual action can affect environmental problems, I reckon the statesmen have a stronger obligation to mitigate the contamination.
Submitted by moonmond15 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to better support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Work on varying the sentence structure and using more complex grammatical forms to improve grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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