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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some children spend hourse every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negetive development?

#children #hourse #smartphones #case #negetive #development
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Smartphone is a blessing in terms of
communication
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 and diverse
information
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 . In
this
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 fast-paced world, people irrespective of age are now so dependent on
smartphones
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 in every aspect of life. It is noticeable some
children
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 spend many hours on their
smartphones
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 on a daily basis. I think
this
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 is a negative development and will illustrate my points in favour of
this
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 belief in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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 , life lessons from parents for
children
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 are crucial for
children
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 ’s mental growth in terms of ethics, creativity and innovation. Today’s parents are busy and they provide
smartphones
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 to
children
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 to compensate for their busyness.
Spending
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By spending
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 more
time
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 on
smartphones
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children
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 can access diverse
information
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 from the internet
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 authenticity is questionable.
Moreover
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 , it will be hard to segregate
information
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 for
children
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 whether it is benevolent or not which leads to an adverse effect on their ethical exploration.
Secondly
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 , addiction to
smartphones
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 will act as a constraint to
explore
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exploring
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 their
communication
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 skill. In old age,
children
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 used to spend their
time
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 on sports in their leisure
time
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 .
This
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 practice helped them to fit in mentally and physically. They were able to meet other
children
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 from their neighborhood which led to socialism. Because of
smartphones
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 ,
children
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 tend to stay at home which makes them introverted . They have less interest in going outside and hardly communicate with people which can be detrimental for them in student and professional life. In conclusion, devoting more
time
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 to
smartphones
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 can be a negative development in many cases notable in
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children's
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children
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 ethical and
communication
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 growth realm. The scarcity of authentic
information
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 from the internet can hostile
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children's
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children
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 ethical views and tend to stay home
for
Change preposition
because
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 addiction to
smartphones
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 can be an obstacle to their effective
communication
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 skills .
Submitted by farzana.acce13 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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