Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages
In the modern world, it is evident that technology has become crucial in our lives. New entertainment sources have changed the way pupils spend their leisure. From my perspective,
this
trend should be viewed that pros can be outweighed by cons.
Linking Words
On the contrary
, some individuals, particularly adults, argue that new digital devices have several bad impacts on pupil life. Linking Words
To begin
, we can see clearly that it was decreased physical activity Linking Words
as well as
outdoor activity since they become more addicted to the cellphones, leading to unhealthy well-being Linking Words
along with
mental health. Linking Words
Next,
some are exposed to inappropriate content, or some become cyberbullied or even copy that Linking Words
behavior
and bully others. Change the spelling
behaviour
Lastly
, teenagers may become addicted and over-reliance on that amusement.
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However
, in my opinion, there were multiple positive outcomes. Linking Words
Initially
, devices are essential tools and significantly contribute to their personal development. Linking Words
For instance
, they can access many educational content and resources, including YouTube channels, online learning, and others. Linking Words
Secondly
, society can improve their communication and social skills Linking Words
due to
online chatting. Linking Words
Moreover
, individuals an Linking Words
also
learning about critical thinking linked to problem-solving which can adapt to our real life.
In conclusion, screen time can have both drawbacks and advantages. Linking Words
However
, on my side, the augmented reliance on smart technology is undoubtedly a positive growth.Linking Words
Submitted by Jinyada5910 on
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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt, but the viewpoint is not clearly established. Ensure that your opinion is explicitly presented in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit. Work on providing a stronger framework for your ideas.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a varied range of vocabulary and effectively conveys meaning. Continue to expand your vocabulary and aim for more precise and nuanced word choices.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains a mix of complex and simple sentence structures with some errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical range.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...