Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages
In the modern world, it is evident that technology has become crucial in our lives. New entertainment sources have changed the way pupils spend their leisure. From my perspective,
this
trend should be viewed that pros can be outweighed by cons.
On the contrary
, some individuals, particularly adults, argue that new digital devices have several bad impacts on pupil life. To begin
, we can see clearly that it was decreased physical activity as well as
outdoor activity since they become more addicted to the cellphones, leading to unhealthy well-being along with
mental health. Next,
some are exposed to inappropriate content, or some become cyberbullied or even copy that behavior
and bully others. Change the spelling
behaviour
Lastly
, teenagers may become addicted and over-reliance on that amusement.
However
, in my opinion, there were multiple positive outcomes. Initially
, devices are essential tools and significantly contribute to their personal development. For instance
, they can access many educational content and resources, including YouTube channels, online learning, and others. Secondly
, society can improve their communication and social skills due to
online chatting. Moreover
, individuals an also
learning about critical thinking linked to problem-solving which can adapt to our real life.
In conclusion, screen time can have both drawbacks and advantages. However
, on my side, the augmented reliance on smart technology is undoubtedly a positive growth.Submitted by Jinyada5910 on
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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt, but the viewpoint is not clearly established. Ensure that your opinion is explicitly presented in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit. Work on providing a stronger framework for your ideas.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a varied range of vocabulary and effectively conveys meaning. Continue to expand your vocabulary and aim for more precise and nuanced word choices.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains a mix of complex and simple sentence structures with some errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical range.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...