Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

#topic #technologies #children #time #outweigh

In the modern world, it is evident that technology has become crucial in our lives. New entertainment sources have changed the way pupils spend their leisure. From my perspective,

this

trend should be viewed that pros can be outweighed by cons.

On the contrary

, some individuals, particularly adults, argue that new digital devices have several bad impacts on pupil life.

To begin

, we can see clearly that it was decreased physical activity

as well as

outdoor activity since they become more addicted to the cellphones, leading to unhealthy well-being

along with

mental health.

Next,

some are exposed to inappropriate content, or some become cyberbullied or even copy that

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and bully others.

Lastly

, teenagers may become addicted and over-reliance on that amusement.

However

, in my opinion, there were multiple positive outcomes.

Initially

, devices are essential tools and significantly contribute to their personal development.

For instance

, they can access many educational content and resources, including YouTube channels, online learning, and others.

Secondly

, society can improve their communication and social skills

due to

online chatting.

Moreover

, individuals an

also

learning about critical thinking linked to problem-solving which can adapt to our real life. In conclusion, screen time can have both drawbacks and advantages.

However

, on my side, the augmented reliance on smart technology is undoubtedly a positive growth.

Submitted by Jinyada5910 on Thu Nov 09 2023

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Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt, but the viewpoint is not clearly established. Ensure that your opinion is explicitly presented in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit. Work on providing a stronger framework for your ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a varied range of vocabulary and effectively conveys meaning. Continue to expand your vocabulary and aim for more precise and nuanced word choices.

Grammatical Range

The essay contains a mix of complex and simple sentence structures with some errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical range.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

digital devices
screen time
entertainment
knowledge
learning
creativity
communication
social interaction
problem-solving
critical thinking
physical activity
sedentary lifestyle
mental health
well-being
inappropriate content
cyberbullying
addiction
over-reliance
technology

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Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words.

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some teachers think that international students exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?