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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two diagrams show the changes made in the infrastructures of
the
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apply
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Grange
Park
 in 1920 and today.
Overall
, we can see that the
park
 has not expanded
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 the years and the only changes that have
made
Add a missing verb
been made
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 were the addition of new renovations like a playing area for children,
theatre
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a theatre
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 and an underground car
park
. During the time the
park
 was opened
for
Change preposition
to
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 the public in 1920, the
park
 had two entrances from Arnold Avenue and from Eldon Street, where it has not changed up to
present
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the present
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. When entering from Eldon Street, you can see a fountain to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of the
park
 in the old plan; to its left was a stage for music
performants
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performance
performances
. At
present
Add a comma
present,
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 the fountain has been replaced by a rose garden which
surrounds
Wrong verb form
is surrounded
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 by seats and the stage area has improved for a theatre to hold concerts. When you arrive from
the
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Arnold Avenue, back in 1920, to your immediate left
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 a rose garden following a pond.
However
, today you see a café where the rose garden was and a
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
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 where the pond was.
Moreover
, you can see there’s a pond where the glass house used to be near
the
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Eldon Street and the entrance to the underground car
park
 is near the new water feature.
Submitted by Tharinee on

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task response
Ensure that you address all parts of the task question in detail, providing a clear comparison of the changes in the park over time.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence of the essay, such as pronouns, transition words, and conjunctions.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to improve the variety and precision of your word choices. Avoid repetition and consider using synonyms and more descriptive language.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and use of punctuation to convey your ideas more accurately and fluently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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