At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
of some countries
that
have the young Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
more
than Correct quantifier usage
apply
the
old Correct article usage
apply
people
. Some people
thinks
when their Change the verb form
think
contries
have Correct your spelling
countries
the yonge
Correct word choice
young
people
more than the
old Correct article usage
apply
people
will be good because,
that could Remove the comma
apply
increases
the Change the verb form
increase
population
in the future. Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
people
thinks
it Change the verb form
think
not
good Add a missing verb
is not
due to
some countries
limit the population
, if that
have more young children, it will over Correct pronoun usage
they
limit
. Wrong verb form
limited
This
essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages about in
some Change preposition
of
countries
have
Wrong verb form
having
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
more than the
old Correct article usage
apply
people
.
One of advantages
is increasing the Add an article
the advantages
population
. In some countries
support the family to have more children because that can increases
the Change the verb form
increase
population
in the future. For example
, in Singapore, Philiphine
and so on. What is more chancing to improve the educations as when they have a lot of young generation, the government could improve a good Correct your spelling
Philippine
Philippines
education
. Also
, they can develop the
systems Correct article usage
apply
Fix the infinitive
to include
include
Wrong verb form
including
the
Correct article usage
apply
quilifled
teachers, Correct your spelling
qualified
Correct word choice
and the
the
good atmosphere.
One of Correct article usage
a
disadvantages
is the place for study. If the young generation still a lot, the school will not Add an article
the disadvantages
enough
Add a missing verb
be enough
for
the study, the government should construct more Change preposition
apply
schod
.
Correct your spelling
schools
Also
, when they have the new schools, the teacher will not enough
to teach them. The university should get more Add a missing verb
be enough
student
to study Fix the agreement mistake
students
about
teaching Change preposition
apply
education
.
Another disadvantages
is the quality of Replace the adjective
disadvantage
education
. If the
many students learn in the classroom, the teachers can not take care Correct article usage
apply
Change preposition
of all
all
. Correct pronoun usage
them
For instance
, when they have a problem they will need some help from the teachers. Furthermore
, when they grow up, the unemployee
problem will happen because the company can not receive everybody to get a job.
In conclusion, in some Correct your spelling
unemployment
unemployed
countries
that have the
young Correct article usage
a
population
more than the old population
, the goverment
should manage the Correct your spelling
government
education
system. Moreover
, they should prepare the plans for sloving unemployee
problems which can happen in the future.Correct your spelling
solving unemployment
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task response
Ensure you address the task directly; the question asks you to discuss whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which you did not do clearly. Your essay should make a definite stance on this.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's logical structure requires improvement. Aim to clearly separate your points into distinct paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Support your points with specific, relevant examples to enhance their strength and clarity. This is an area you need to develop further.
grammatical range and accuracy
Review key concepts such as subject-verb agreement, consistent verb tenses, and sentence structure to reduce the number of grammatical errors throughout your essay.
lexical resource
Enhance lexical resource by using a broader range of vocabulary. Avoid repetition and ensure accurate word choices.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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