In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

day and age, youngsters in several nations are suffering from

obesity

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

context, some individuals hold the view that the authorities should be in charge of

this

Linking Words

issue. As far as I am concerned, I partly concur with

this

Linking Words

statement. Admittedly, it may be reasonable to a certain extent to put the onus of tackling

children’s

Use synonyms

unhealthiness and

obesity

Use synonyms

on the

government

Use synonyms

. The primary explanation can be attributed to the authorities’ power and resources. To be more specific, those in power have public funds at their disposal and can mobilize human

as well as

Linking Words

financial resources to help improve youngsters’ degrading well-being.

For example

Linking Words

, more public

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities should be provided so as to encourage the young to exercise more, thereby staying in shape.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

can initiate various campaigns to raise

children’s

Use synonyms

awareness of leading a healthier life.

In other words

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should be partly in charge of overweightness and declining

health

Use synonyms

among young people.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

undeniable that not only the

government

Use synonyms

but

families

Use synonyms

and

schools

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibility for alleviating the issue of

children’s

Use synonyms

well-being.

Firstly

Linking Words

families

Use synonyms

should take care of their own offspring’s

health

Use synonyms

. As parents are the most intimate people to youngsters, they tend to have the greatest influence on their way of living.

Therefore

Linking Words

, by providing their offspring with nutritious meals and

promoting

Verb problem

encouraging

show examples

them to exercise,

families

Use synonyms

can contribute significantly to combating

obesity

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, educators should

also

Linking Words

join their hands in tackling

this

Linking Words

issue. Specifically,

schools

Use synonyms

had better integrate knowledge on

nutritions

Fix the agreement mistake

nutrition

show examples

and

health

Use synonyms

into curricula so that students can alter their

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, rather than focusing solely on academic subjects, physical education should

also

Linking Words

be put emphasis on so as to improve

children’s

Use synonyms

overall

Linking Words

development. These arguments

taken

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

into account,

Use synonyms

families

Correct pronoun usage

that families

show examples

and

schools

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

be accountable for assisting children in preventing

obesity

Use synonyms

and unhealthiness. In conclusion, it is my perspective that

in addition

Linking Words

to the

government

Use synonyms

families

Use synonyms

and

schools

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

be liable for alleviating

obesity

Use synonyms

and bad

health

Use synonyms

among the young.

yeshomeclassThu Nov 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the main points and support the arguments effectively.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a consistent and logical progression of ideas and use cohesive devices to connect different parts of the essay more effectively.

lexical resource

Continue to expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating more varied and precise lexical choices.

grammatical range

Pay attention to more complex sentence structures and grammatical forms to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is said that the presence of televisions have the tendency to destroy interactions and the sense of community of families. This essay will agree with the suggested opinion since TV presence reduces our desire to visit our family and kills communication between the members.
7
band
For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter ● state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this( GYM AUTOMATIC PAYMENT ) ● give details of how you have benefited from the club( LOOSE WEIGHT AND MAKE FRIENDS ● explain why you want to leave( HECTIC SCHDEULE )
I am writing this letter to inform you that I want to discontinue my membership in your local club.
6.5
band
Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Computers play a pivotal role in shaping today's world. For the same reason, smart tablets have been introduced into schools to offer an education. However, the complete integration of smart devices into classrooms could impact the whole learning experience. My perspective is inclined towards the notion that technology should be utilized by children in a limited manner in education centers. In addition, this essay will discuss both aspects of the given essay.
5.5
band
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he /she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. - Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her. - Suggest types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her.
Hope you're doing fine. I'm writing this letter to you to share my opinion whether to go to college or to try to get a job. My suggestion to you would be get a job at the moment rather than joining a collegeto do your Masters in Logistics & Supply chain Management.
4.5
band
car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. how to do you think this statement is? what measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars.
Vehicles are popular in the cities, almost houses have 1-2 cars at a result to traffic congestion in the road. I agree with this message because they need plan to leave home to office before 7.00 a.m. thus, avoid to travel in rush hours. So, the state should have managed problem for reducing cars on working days immediately.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. how to do you think this statement is? what measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars.