In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, youngsters in several nations are suffering from obesity
. In this
context, some individuals hold the view that the authorities should be in charge of this
issue. As far as I am concerned, I partly concur with this
statement.
Admittedly, it may be reasonable to a certain extent to put the onus of tackling children’s
unhealthiness and obesity
on the government
. The primary explanation can be attributed to the authorities’ power and resources. To be more specific, those in power have public funds at their disposal and can mobilize human as well as
financial resources to help improve youngsters’ degrading well-being. For example
, more public sport
facilities should be provided so as to encourage the young to exercise more, thereby staying in shape. Change the noun form
sports
Additionally
, the government
can initiate various campaigns to raise children’s
awareness of leading a healthier life. In other words
, the government
should be partly in charge of overweightness and declining health
among young people.
Nevertheless
, it is also
undeniable that not only the government
but families
and schools
should also
take the
responsibility for alleviating the issue of Correct article usage
apply
children’s
well-being. Firstly
, families
should take care of their own offspring’s health
. As parents are the most intimate people to youngsters, they tend to have the greatest influence on their way of living. Therefore
, by providing their offspring with nutritious meals and promoting
them to exercise, Verb problem
encouraging
families
can contribute significantly to combating obesity
. Secondly
, educators should also
join their hands in tackling this
issue. Specifically, schools
had better integrate knowledge on nutritions
and Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
health
into curricula so that students can alter their lifestyle
. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
Moreover
, rather than focusing solely on academic subjects, physical education should also
be put emphasis on so as to improve children’s
overall
development. These arguments taken
into account, Wrong verb form
take
families
and Correct pronoun usage
that families
schools
should also
be accountable for assisting children in preventing obesity
and unhealthiness.
In conclusion, it is my perspective that in addition
to the government
, families
and schools
should also
be liable for alleviating obesity
and bad health
among the young.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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task response
Ensure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the main points and support the arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent and logical progression of ideas and use cohesive devices to connect different parts of the essay more effectively.
lexical resource
Continue to expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating more varied and precise lexical choices.
grammatical range
Pay attention to more complex sentence structures and grammatical forms to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.