In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

In contemporary times,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people in a particular country believe work or travel

experience

after high school or university graduation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a great opportunity.

This

essay will explain the benefits and drawbacks. There are

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

many advantages for the youth

spend

Fix the infinitive

to spend

show examples

time to gain

experience

for

Change preposition

show examples

working

Correct article usage

a working

show examples

state.

For instance

, high school or university

graduated

Wrong verb form

graduates

show examples

can be

internship

Fix the agreement mistake

internships

show examples

company

Add an article

a company

show examples

to understand the working process and job

responsibility

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibilities

show examples

before they enter

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the labour market.

Moreover

, There are

also

gain live

experience

to find

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

challenge

Fix the agreement mistake

challenges

show examples

For example

, they can have a

problem

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

mental health after

study state

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

While

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

can help

this

problem

and

also

gain a great

experience

. There

also

can reduce the brunt

out

Change preposition

show examples

issues for working.

However

, a gap time for

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

graduated

Change the verb form

to graduate

show examples

has drawbacks

such

as money

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and timing

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

For instance

traveling

Replace the word

travellers

show examples

have to spend

numerous

Fix the agreement mistake

a lot of

show examples

money to

booked

Wrong verb form

book

show examples

accommodation, flight

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

and daily lives.

This

issue leads to their parent

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

to carry

this

problem

and can have a

problem

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

future budget.

In addition

, the labour market has a golden opportunity

in during

Change preposition

for

show examples

newly

gradated

Correct your spelling

graduated

show examples

, being a

problem

for them to pressure themself.

This

due to

their environment already got a job

while

they don’t have

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

working

Change the form of the verb

work

show examples

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Thu Nov 09 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of young people taking a gap year to work or travel. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity, and the points are not fully developed. Ensure that each point is thoroughly discussed and clearly presented.

coherence cohesion

Coherence & Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherent progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are unclear, and the essay lacks smooth transitions between ideas. Ensure that there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, with smooth transitions between paragraphs.

lexical resource

Lexical Resource: There are several errors in vocabulary choice and usage. The essay contains repetitive language and lacks sophistication in vocabulary. Work on expanding your range of vocabulary and using appropriate synonyms to avoid repetition.

grammatical range

Grammatical Range: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and word usage. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures and tenses to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

213 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities and cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

ountries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others say it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.