In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

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In contemporary times,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people in a particular country believe work or travel
experience
Use synonyms
after high school or university graduation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a great opportunity.
This
Linking Words
essay will explain the benefits and drawbacks. There are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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many advantages for the youth
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
time to gain
experience
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
state.
For instance
Linking Words
, high school or university
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduates
show examples
can be
internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
show examples
in
company
Add an article
a company
show examples
to understand the working process and job
responsibility
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
show examples
before they enter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the labour market.
Moreover
Linking Words
, There are
also
Linking Words
gain live
experience
Use synonyms
to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, they can have a
problem
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
mental health after
study state
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
can help
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
gain a great
experience
Use synonyms
. There
also
Linking Words
can reduce the brunt
out
Change preposition
of
show examples
issues for working.
However
Linking Words
, a gap time for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
graduated
Change the verb form
to graduate
show examples
has drawbacks
such
Linking Words
as money
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and timing
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
traveling
Replace the word
travellers
show examples
have to spend
numerous
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
show examples
money to
booked
Wrong verb form
book
show examples
accommodation, flight
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
and daily lives.
This
Linking Words
issue leads to their parent
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
to carry
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
and can have a
problem
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
future budget.
In addition
Linking Words
, the labour market has a golden opportunity
in during
Change preposition
for
show examples
newly
gradated
Correct your spelling
graduated
show examples
, being a
problem
Use synonyms
for them to pressure themself.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
their environment already got a job
while
Linking Words
they don’t have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of young people taking a gap year to work or travel. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity, and the points are not fully developed. Ensure that each point is thoroughly discussed and clearly presented.
coherence cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherent progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are unclear, and the essay lacks smooth transitions between ideas. Ensure that there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, with smooth transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: There are several errors in vocabulary choice and usage. The essay contains repetitive language and lacks sophistication in vocabulary. Work on expanding your range of vocabulary and using appropriate synonyms to avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and word usage. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures and tenses to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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