It is better for people to be unemployed that people to be employed but they do not enjoy To what extent agree or disagree

Some
people
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think that a person should quit their
job
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if they do not like it. I completely disagree because it is important to earn your own money
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
work
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also
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keeps
people
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active and involved.
Firstly
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, having a
job
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gives
people
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financial security, which is very important for their life and personal growth. If
people
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do not
work
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, they might not be able to pay for their basic needs
such
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as food, rent house, and healthcare.
This
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can lead to stress, a low standard of living, and even depression.
For example
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, many young graduates take jobs that are not related to their degree to pay their bills and support their families
while
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they look for a better
job
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in the future. Without any income,
people
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can face many problems that affect both their mental and physical health.
Secondly
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, working in any
job
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, whether it is liked or not, helps individuals develop discipline, responsibility, and communication skills. Even if the
job
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is not enjoyable, it teaches
people
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how to
work
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in a team, follow instructions, and use their time effectively.
For instance
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, my friend worked in a supermarket as a cashier, a
job
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she did not enjoy, but it improved her confidence and customer service skills, which later helped her get her dream
job
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in a bank.
Therefore
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, any
work
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experience can be valuable for future opportunities. In conclusion, I strongly believe that having a
job
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, even if it is not
enjoyable
Punctuation problem
enjoyable,
show examples
is much better than not working at all.
This
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is because a
job
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gives
people
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money to live and helps them learn useful skills for better jobs in the future.
Therefore
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, it is important for
people
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to see any
job
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as a small step towards their bigger goals.

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coherence
Make sure to clearly link your ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to give more detailed examples to support your points.
task achievement
You presented clear reasons for your opinion and included relevant examples.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize your ideas well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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