in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?

It is being said that in some nations people prefer to have a house ownership to renting one. In my opinion,
this
happened because humankind
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the mindset that a
place
to live could be a long-term investment.
Additionally
, the sense of housing ownership led to a positive impact since individuals would feel safer. First of all, homeownership is a long-term investment,
especifically
Correct your spelling
specifically
for those who are getting older and retiring from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work.
This
phenomenon occurs
due to
the fact that prices of homes always increase every year so it would be an excellent idea to start off.
For instance
, in 2022, a property agent reported on his social media that the real estate market in Indonesia, especially in Java, has accounted for gradual growth and predicted will experience high prices in 2025.
Moreover
, having a residence certificate
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a psychological situation where people are secure because nobody can discharge them from their homes or might have to search for another
place
to live if their landlord
reclaim
Change the verb form
reclaims
show examples
the property.
For example
, I read in a newspaper, there is a household in West Sumatra had to change their
place
to live since they did not want to deposit their money to build a home. In conclusion, the preference for homeownership is happening in certain countries from seeking funding financial stability especially when individuals have already retired from their jobs as
this
market showed growth.
Furthermore
, I firmly believe
this
circumstance would bring a sense of peace of mind without having a problem because they
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a stable
place
to live.
Submitted by heyyo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity in presenting arguments. Ensure that all points are fully developed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat unclear, and the introduction and conclusion could be more decisive and engaging. Use topic sentences and concluding remarks to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
More varied and precise vocabulary could be used to express ideas more effectively. Aim for a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a basic control of grammar and sentence structures, but there are errors in sentence formation and word choice. Review and revise for more accurate and varied sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: