some people think money plays major role in bringing happines in life do you agree

#people #money #role #happines #life

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In today's society, citizens consider that wealth plays an important role in the happiness of our

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Yes, fund is needed at every instance of our

life

Use synonyms

from

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

birth to the day we die and from my point of view I

also

Linking Words

think it is true that cash does affect the smiles on our faces. In the paragraph below I will elaborate my opinion for the same notion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I think there are more possibilities to dream and achieve big when we have enough funds.

For example

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, a study from a university in New York shows how most middle-class families spent half of their

life

Use synonyms

earnings paying school and college tuition fees , loans and other grocery bills.

therefore

Linking Words

, all

this

Linking Words

creates pressure for us to do jobs we are not usually interested in.

Secondly

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, we all at some point feel to have luxuries in our

life

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as a big house, cars, and some situations enough capital to travel around. Not necessarily for long terms but even for a

while

Linking Words

these materialistic things succeed at making us happy for a fact it is

also

Linking Words

one of the reasons why getting gifts makes us happy.

To conclude

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this

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topic I would like to share my personal relation with money and how at most times it brings me happiness in the forms of new clothes and food

for instance

Linking Words

last

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week I was unhappy about something and my mom brought me patties from my favorite restaurant and that make me felt joy.

Submitted by shrivastavatanishka2003 on Thu Nov 09 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity in presenting ideas. It needs to provide a more balanced argument and consider different perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is unclear, making it difficult to follow the flow of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks clear organization of main points and supporting details.

Lexical Resource

Lexical Resource: The vocabulary and word choice are limited, and there is a lack of variety in expressing ideas. Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's quality.

Grammatical Range

Grammatical Range: There are several grammatical errors, including tense inconsistencies and sentence structure issues. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures and maintaining grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

252 words

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some people think money plays major role in bringing happines in life do you agree

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that university education should be free, while others believe students should pay for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion.

Some students prefer classes with frequent discussions between the professor and the students with almost no lectures. Other students prefer classes with many lectures and almost no discussions. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?