It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole #development

this

day and age, there are various

researcher

Fix the agreement mistake

researchers

show examples

and passengers

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

now able to travel to distant isolated

areas

thanks to the rapid development of technology. From a personal perspective,

while

this

trend is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that its disadvantages are more significant, and

this

essay shall shed light on the rationales. In terms of the advantages, strange sites that are not investigated will bring some positives to

humans

Fix the agreement mistake

human

show examples

lives.

To begin

with, the trend of travelling to remote

areas

could help develop the tourism industry in these locations, which might create more job opportunities for local

people

such

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

tour guides or

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

in hotels and restaurants. Since going to other cities or countries has been too common for most

people

, it might be more exciting for them to explore new places

such

as the South Pole or the Amazon rainforest.

Furthermore

, when visiting remote

areas

, visitors might acquire more knowledge about the natural habitat

as well as

have deeper insights into species.

For instance

, when going to the North Pole,

scientists

can learn about the life of polar bears, which live far away from humans.

This

newfound knowledge can be a precursor to clinical breakthroughs or provide

scientists

with comprehensive insights to more effectively deal with environmental issues

such

as climate change.

Conversely

, regarding the disadvantages, there are significant

negative

Fix the agreement mistake

negatives

show examples

related to the environment when

scientists

and tourists travel to the remote natural environment. The first one is that travelling to remote natural

areas

can be risky if the

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

are not adequately prepared because health services or hospitals in these places might not be available or limited.

For example

, the temperature at the South Pole is usually very low, which adversely affects

people

’s health. Travelling to forests can

also

be dangerous as

people

have to face the risk of being attacked by animals. Another noteworthy point to discuss is that since visiting isolated places often requires a large amount of investment in researching and ensuring the safety of

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

, the costs of travelling tend to be high.

Therefore

, it seems like only

scientists

and rich

people

can afford

this

activity, so

this

development is likely to benefit only a small group of individuals. In conclusion, I believe the disadvantages of

people

being able to travel to remote

areas

outweigh its advantages.

Submitted by phongnguyenthanh630 on Thu Nov 09 2023

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Task Response

Your response is adequate but lacks in-depth analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of traveling to remote areas. You need to demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic and its implications.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, which is good. However, your essay lacks clear transitions between ideas, and there are some coherence and cohesion issues in the body paragraphs. Your ideas sometimes feel disjointed and disconnected.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

390 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more parents have begun to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their prodessional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?