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Band 5.5

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
For
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 important reason, in some nations, people prefer to have house ownership over renting one. In my opinion,
this
 happened because humankind tends to view residential property as a long-term investment.
Additionally
, the sense of housing ownership led to a positive impact since individuals would feel safer. First of all, homeownership is a long-term investment, specifically for those who are getting older and retiring from work.
This
 phenomenon occurs
due to
 the fact that prices of homes constantly increase every year so it would be an excellent idea to start.
For instance
, in a recent report in 2022, a property agent stated on his social media that the real estate market in Indonesia, especially in Java, has accounted for gradual growth and predicted even higher prices by 2025.
Moreover
, the possession of a residence certificate provides a sense of security because nobody can discharge them from their homes or might have to search for another place to live if their landlord reclaims their property.
For example
, I read in a newspaper that there is a household in West Sumatra that decided to invest their savings in building a home rather than enduring the challenge of renting. In conclusion, the preference for homeownership is happening in certain countries for seeking financial stability especially when individuals have already retired from their jobs as
this
 market showed growth.
Furthermore
, I firmly believe
this
 circumstance would bring peace of mind without having a problem because they have a stable place to live.
Submitted by heyyo on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the preference for homeownership and presenting an opinion. However, the essay lacks depth and fails to fully explore both the positive and negative aspects of the situation.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with the introduction and conclusion present. However, the development of ideas lacks coherence, and there are some issues with paragraph development and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a varied use of vocabulary and includes some relevant terminology. However, there is a need for greater precision and accuracy in word choice, as well as expansion of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a reasonable level of grammatical control, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are errors in verb tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and article usage, which affect the overall quality of expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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