The charts below give information about the world's top three producers for four different dairy products (milk, cheese, butter, milk powder) in the year of 2012

The charts below give information about the world's top three producers for four different dairy products (milk, cheese, butter, milk powder) in the year of 2012
The bar chart illustrates the amount of
milk
, cheese, butter, and
milk
powder produced in different countries in 2012. In general, it is noticeable that the amount of
EU
produced is the highest,
while
the opposite was true for the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
.
In addition
,
Milk
seems to be the most produced by all countries. In 2012, the figure for
EU produced
Add a hyphen
EU-produced
show examples
milk
was 142,970, followed by India and the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
which stood at 127,000 and 90,038 respectively.
Besides
that, the figure for Cheese produced by Brazil was only 700,
while
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
produced 7,120 tons
Cheese
Change preposition
of Cheese
show examples
which
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
than that of the United St about 3,000. In terms of butter producers in 2012, India was produced 4,500 which higher
twice
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than those in
Correct article usage
the Eu
show examples
Eu
Correct your spelling
EU
show examples
. The United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
produced only 800 butters. Meanwhile, 1,200 was the figure for
Milk
Powder which was produced in China,
while
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that in
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
and New Zealand was 770 and 1,110 respectively.
Submitted by phongnguyenthanh630 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, eu with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dairy products
  • producers
  • milk
  • cheese
  • butter
  • milk powder
  • production volume
  • market leader
  • trend
  • anomaly
  • population
  • farming technology
  • export
  • ranking
  • data analysis
  • summary
  • chart comparison
  • top producers
  • domestic consumption
  • agricultural economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: